


Reborn

by RoseWilder



Category: Bleach
Genre: Gay, M/M, Male Slash, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 36,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseWilder/pseuds/RoseWilder
Summary: Everything was over. No Aizen, no wars, no Quincies to fight. Nothing. Everything was boring. But that boredom was quickly pushed after a visit to the human world, where Grimmjow came across someone who should have been dead.





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Slowly getting all my fanfics over here.
> 
> Sorry for any grammar mistakes or spelling errors, English is not my native language, but I do my best to check for any mistakes.

He paused, eyes wide as he sensed a familiar, and yet unfamiliar reiatsu. “Ulqui...orra?” When had he become this strong? Even from this distance he could feel him, like the air grew heavier around him, and he could only imagine what it must have been like to be up there, facing him. “How the fuck were you just… number four?” Grimmjow groaned and tried to get to his feet, but he was still too injured to do so, forcing him to sink back to his knees. He hissed as pain shot through his body and looked around for a moment… he couldn’t sense anyone else. The others had either died, or left Hueco Mundo. He tried to tell himself that it didn’t bother him the slightest, and yet it felt like members of his pack was taken away from him, and he was being left behind. He didn’t like that.

Once more his attention was pulled back to the fight going on far away from himself as another powerful reiatsu made its presence. It was similar to Kurosaki, and yet not. What the hell was going on up there?!

He tried to get to his feet again, and this time he managed. Each step he took was heavy, and slow, and painful, but he could move, and he moved towards where the fight was happening, even if he wasn’t sure exactly how he would reach it. He paused for a moment as he felt Yammy’s reiatsu too. Okay, so that idiot hadn’t gotten himself killed yet. He continued on.

Then Ulquiorra’s reiatsu disappeared.

Grimmjow stopped, and fell to his knees again. Eyes wide as he stared in the direction of where that fight must have been. No. How fucking dare he? “Piece of shit, I told you that killing him earlier would be for the best. Look what-” his voice died on his tongue. Rage was building up within his body. Surely there had been other emotions too, but it had all turned into rage. Anger was so much easier to deal with than sorrow after all. Now he felt alone. All alone. They had all gone and fucking left him. Who the fuck allowed them to do that!? He sat there, for how long he didn’t care. He didn’t even notice it when Yammy’s reiatsu faded away.

The anger never let go of him, not even when he had recovered, not even when he joined to fight the Quincy, not even after that.

He now spent most of his time alone, brooding, and telling Nelliel to fuck off, since she could really get annoying at times. Harribel was easier to deal with, but neither of their presence made up for everything that was gone. He had fucking hated Aizen, fucking hated Tosen, fucking hated Nnoitra, they could all rot for all he cared… but he wished he could have taken them down. However, the others… he had grown used to them, even if they could get fucking annoying too, at least things happened, at least he had had a group, a goal, something. Now, this was all just boring, empty.

Empty.

He wondered for a second if it was something like this Ulquiorra had felt. Just empty, like something was missing.

“Grimmjoooooow~”

Grimmjow groaned and got to his feet and stepped away before Nelliel could crash into him. “What?” he groaned.

“You looked sad, I wanted to cheer you up,” Nelliel smiled.

“Again? Can’t you just drop it,” Grimmjow sighed and scratched the back of his head. This was annoying.

“Come on! I was thinking we could-”

“I’m leaving,” Grimmjow quickly said before she could finish and opened a garganta.

Nelliel blinked at him in confusion. “Where are you going? You shouldn’t leave Hueco Mundo, what if-”

“I don’t care,” Grimmjow huffed in return and stepped into the garganta. He had expected Nelliel to try to stop him, but she didn’t, instead she just looked at him with a soft expression, as if she understood, which was fucking stupid. How the heck would she understand when even he didn’t.

He left, and emerged on the other side, somewhere in the human world. He hadn’t been too specific about where, so this was a new territory for him. The city was huge! It was nighttime, and still very much alive, making him question if some humans even needed to sleep. Humans everywhere, doing whatever humans did. Just minding their own business. He lowered himself to the ground, standing by one of the large buildings, just watching those still awake at this time of the night move by. Maybe he should just pick a random human to follow around and see what their lives were like. Not that he would gather much as he didn’t understand the language they spoke here. Whatever. He had been about to follow a group of women when someone else caught his eyes. Grimmjow froze as he stared with wide eyes at the male walking by. That black hair, those green eyes. He… no. It couldn’t be… could it?

He decided to follow that male instead. Who the fuck knew what happened when an Arrancar died, they were a relatively new specie after all, so maybe they could appear here on earth. Maybe. Maybe… this could be. His mind felt like a scrambled mess as he just continued to follow the other. The other moved just like him, the same elegance… or… maybe he was projecting now. Maybe he was just imagining the similarities between them. Had he really missed the fucking Cuatro that much?

He almost forgot to breath when the other turned and… it looked like he could see Grimmjow. Those large green eyes, they almost looked like they were glowing. However, unlike Ulquiorra’s eyes, these green eyes weren’t cold, they were so warm… it was making Grimmjow’s chest feel warm. He didn’t have time to stop and think about what the fuck was going on with him, he just wanted to continue to follow this one and find out if he was right or not.

The Cuatro lookalike walked a bit faster, but Grimmjow kept up with him. Then he stepped into an alleyway and Grimmjow followed, that was when the other stopped and spun around, causing Grimmjow to stop dead in his track.

“Warum folgst du mir?”

“Uh?” Grimmjow blinked, there was that language he didn’t get again, but the voice was so familiar, and now that he could see his face properly, or as properly as one could in the dim lights. It looked just like him. Just like Ulquiorra just… more human, and with that he looked younger. Like he was just around 20 years of age. “I have no idea what the fuck you just said,” Grimmjow responded, going for Japanese immediately since it was the only language he really used.

The other’s eyes widened. “Oh… then let me try again. Why are you following me?” Yeah, that was Ulquiorra’s voice, just not as cold. Grimmjow had been about to answer when another question was thrown his way that caused him to pause. “Who are you? Or… what are you?”

Oh… he… he didn’t know him. Fucking hell. “No one of importance,” Grimmjow scoffed and kicked at the ground.

“You’re lying.”

“Fuck off.” Grimmjow turned and as he did so he could see Ulquiorra move towards him and tried to grab hold of his wrist to stop him, but the other’s hand just went right through him. “Yeah, not part of this world.”

“I figured. You walked through people, and they didn’t see you… then there is that hole through your stomach, which did indicated that you’re not exactly normal. So what are you? A ghost. And why can I see you?”

“I ain’t got time to explain this to you.” That was all Grimmjow could be bothered to say as he opened a garganta again and stepped into it. As it closed he looked back to see the confused face of someone so incredibly familiar.

Once back in Hueco Mundo he sank down to his knees in the sand, his hands trembling slightly. “Fuck,” he whispered as he ran a hand down his face. “He’s… oh fuck.” He wasn’t sure what to do with himself, or what his next move should be, all he knew was that he HAD to go back again. He had to see him again. There was no way he could just leave it at that. He… needed to see him again. Maybe he could even help him remember everything. If he really was Ulquiorra, then maybe it was possible for him to regain what he had lost.

He found himself laughing, it was almost a maddening laugh. That empty feeling was finally gone, and it had taken that rage with him. If Ulquiorra was out there, then what about the others? That would be good, but Ulquiorra was his priority.

Finally he had a goal. Return the Cuatro to what he had once been. Get him back.


	2. Rescue

The next day Grimmjow decided to visit again, same place and same time, hoping Ulquiorra would appear again. But he did not. Grimmjow sat somewhere that would allow him to have a good view of the street and everyone walking around there. And there he waited. And waited. Now and then he thought he saw him, but he was mistaken. He waited until the sun was about to rise, then he left and returned the next day.

No Ulquiorra this evening either. Maybe he should start to search for him, but this place was huge, so where the heck was he supposed to start looking? Apparently this city was called Berlin and there lived about 3.5 million people here. How the fuck was he supposed to find one specific person among all of these people?!

The next day he returned, not giving up yet. The only things of note to appear were a few Shinigamis that were staring at him from a distance, clearly curious what the heck he was doing there, and a hollow, which Grimmjow decided to kill out of boredom. No Ulquiorra this time either.

Another day of waiting and getting increasingly annoyed at it all. Where the hell was he?! This night there were also a few Shinigamis just staring at him from a distance. They didn’t do anything since he didn’t do any harm or cause any trouble. He just sat there and stared at people until the sun was about to rise, then he left.

Returning again. Nothing this night either. Not the next one either. He was growing desperate and agitated. Maybe he should start to just search this whole city, look everywhere. He needed to find him again! It almost felt like his life depended on it. He supposed he feared the boredom he had had to deal with thus far that much. Fucking desperate to see the Cuatro, it was so incredibly stupid.

The next night he returned once more, but this time he decided to walk around, exploring the place, actively searching. He couldn’t say he knew where he was going, he was just aimlessly walking about this huge place, hoping that maybe he got lucky. However, he was not very lucky tonight as there was no sign of the other, however more hollows were appearing. Now that he thought of it, a lot more of them had started to appear now. Weird.

Another night, another chance to search for the person who had once been the Cuatro Espada, and Grimmjow hoped to restore him to that once more. He grinned a bit to himself. Man, he would have loved to see the look on his face when he found out that Aizen had lost. Wonder what Ulquiorra would do then, no master, no one to follow around like the dog he had been. Really, that had been one of the things he had disliked most about him, just how loyal he was to the Shinigami, if you took that aspect away, he wondered what the Cuatro would have been like.

He paused for a moment as he heard some noise to his right, sounded like a hollow going berserk or something. Might as well go and have a look. Perhaps a poor Shinigami who was unable to deal with one, could be fun to watch them struggle.

He stepped around the corner and what he saw was not what he had expected. There was a hollow yes, but it was not chasing a Shinigami, it was chasing Ulquiorra.

Without hesitation he dashed forward and appeared right in front of the charging hollow who didn’t have any time to react before Grimmjow landed a punch straight at the center of the mask, shattering it and killing the hollow in the process. Then he turned towards Ulquiorra, he appeared to be fine, just very tired from all the running he had been doing.

“You,” Ulquiorra gasped and pushed some of his hair away from his face.

“Yeah, me. I’ve been looking for you for days,” Grimmjow huffed, making sure the other knew just how annoyed he was.

“I’m sorry?” Ulquiorra replied with a frown.

“Yeah, whatever. Found you now just in time to save your ass. Man, that’s something I could get used to,” Grimmjow continued with a grin.

“Uh…”

“So where the fuck can I find you when I want to find you?” Grimmjow asked. “This place is huge, and you have no reiatsu.”

“Reiatsu…?”

“It’s a type of energy certain people, and spirits has, and some of us can sense that energy, you have none,” Grimmjow explained quickly.

Ulquiorra blinked at him slowly. “Thank you for saving me, but I still don’t know who you are. You clearly know who I am, but… you are nothing but a stranger to me.”

For some reason, even if he knew the other had lost his memories, hearing that there hurt. “Yeah, I used to know you, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, and seeing you like this is fucking strange. You used to be very different.” He didn’t feel it would be right to go into details about who the other had been, it would just be a long and confusing story.

“Finally.”

That answer confused the hell out of Grimmjow. “What?”

“It’s hard to explain, and I would like to go so somewhere that is not an open street. Come.” Ulquiorra gestured for him to follow, and Grimmjow did so.

They walked in silence along the street, and down to the underground and took a train somewhere. No words were said as they sat there. The two of them sitting across from each other and Grimmjow decided to take this moment to properly study him.

Ulquiorra wasn’t as pale as before, he didn’t have those slit pupils or the black upper lip or the green marks running down his cheek. He looked so much more alive, and not just before of that healthier skin color, but also because of the light in his eyes. Whenever their eyes met Grimmjow found it hard to look at him for too long. Once it had been because it felt like Ulquiorra could see through everything, like if you looked into those eyes he would somehow know everything you were trying to hide, but now, it was hard to look simply because of the gentle nature he saw in them. He appeared so much kinder. Then there was the fact that he was expressive, maybe not as animated as a lot of other people, but far from as apathetic as his hollow version had been.

They stepped off of the train and found themselves in a very different part of this city. This place appeared to be filled with apartment buildings, and Ulquiorra walked up to one of them and opened the front door with a code and then they walked up several steps. How many floors up they walked before they got to Ulquiorra’s apartment was a question Grimmjow couldn’t answer. As the door opened and they stepped inside they were met by a dog, a German Shepard, and Grimmjow took a step back. Why did Ulquiorra have a dog!? Well, as long as that fucker left him alone, then he wasn’t going to complain. As Ulquiorra removed his shoes and jacket, Grimmjow decided to step inside and have a look around. It was rather minimalistic, and very clean. No pictures or decorations on the walls. In the living room this trend continued. There were however bookshelves along the walls, and there were plenty of pillows on the couch and in the chairs, even a couple of blankets hanging over the back of the couch.

“No family or anything?” he found himself asking when Ulquiorra appeared, the dog walking right by his side. He looked the other over. He was dressed in a oversized t-shirt and distressed jeans. It suited him.

“I don’t think so,” he said and sat down on the couch, and the dog decided to lay down by his feet. “I woke up here about three years ago, no memories, nothing. I couldn’t even remember my name, but by looking around here it appears my name is Wilhelm Schiffer… though it doesn’t feel right. When I look in the mirror something doesn’t feel right either.”

Wilhelm Schiffer? Yeah, no that was the wrong name, that was for sure, but something told him that the other needed to just remember on his own, he couldn’t force feed him information about who he had once been. Hopefully his presence here would help, if not then maybe taking him with him to some of the places where he had once been would help, since this place was certainly not going to do him much good.

“I somehow knew both German and Japanese, and English. I don’t know why I understood Japanese, and I never had a use for it, until you appeared,” Ulquiorra continued. “And… after you appeared, those black creatures started to appear too, but I am the only one who can see them. They have a hole, just like you…”

“Let’s just say that I’m a very evolved version of them.”

“I see. Strangely enough, they didn’t scare me.”

Now that was odd. Humans should be scared of a huge black monster trying to eat them.

“I… actually felt more unnerved by those people dressed in black.”

“They are called shinigamis. They kill hollows, those black creatures. Let’s just say that you didn’t go along with most of those shinigamis before.”

“Okay, I suppose my wish to stay away from them makes sense then.”

Silence. 

“Is this the first time you’ve been chased by a hollow?” The thought of what had happened earlier caused a hint of worry to creep up at the back of his mind. What if he had not appeared when he did? What if this happened again and he wasn’t there?

“No, it’s not the first time.”

Grimmjow frowned even more. “Okay, clearly you’re in danger then,” Grimmjow huffed and leaned back in his seat, his arms folded in front of is chest.

“I suppose. But only in the evening when I have to head back from work, those are the only times I’ve come across those things.”

“Okay, let’s make a deal. Tell me where you work. I’ll appear there when you’re done and keep those fuckers away.”

Ulquiorra’s eyes widened, and yeah, Grimmjow was almost just as surprised himself. He just didn’t want the other to get hurt, and this was the best way of doing so.

“Okay,” Ulquiorra agreed. He informed Grimmjow where he worked, and they talked for a bit more, not about anything important, no more information being exchanged, but that was fine. It was odd to see Ulquiorra like this, and he was starting to get a feel of what sort of person he was. He was still intelligent, laid back, rational, and calm, but he did have a sense of humour and a bit more of an emotional range.

At some point the tv was turned on, and some stupid movie was playing, but Grimmjow didn’t complain, he did however throw out snarky remarks about the things going on on screen, and was often given a counter argument by Ulquiorra, or sometimes he even agreed with him.

Hours ticked by, and it wasn’t until Grimmjow figured he should leave that he noticed that he had really been having a good time just hanging out with Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra of all people. Though by now he was starting to realize just how much he actually cared about the other, and always had. He had spent so much time allowing him to get under his skin, so much time thinking and getting annoyed by him, that his death had left a empty space within him, and now that space was slowly getting filled again.

“I’ll see you after work,” Grimmjow smirked as he stepped into the garganta he had made and returned to Hueco Mundo.


	3. Name

As they had agreed, Grimmjow appeared outside of Ulquiorra’s workplace, ready to escort him home and keep him safe from any hollow that might wish to attack him. He had to wait for a bit before the human version of the Cuatro exited the building and when he saw Grimmjow he smiled and jogged over to him. Grimmjow felt like everything around them was placed on pause when he saw that smile. Who had told Ulquiorra he was allowed to look so… cute?! Good thing he usually didn’t smile since Grimmjow wasn’t sure how he would deal with that there for too long. Hopefully his usual mannerism would return soon.

“Are you alright?” Ulquiorra asked.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m fine,” Grimmjow said and turned away. “Just lead the way, will you.”

They started to walk, heading towards, what Grimmjow guessed, was the underground train station again. Nothing was really said, mainly since Grimmjow knew Ulquiorra couldn’t talk while they were side by side like this, until Ulquiorra suddenly decided to pull up his phone. Grimmjow rose an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, I can talk,” Ulquiorra said, pretending to be on the phone.

“Fuck you’re still one clever bastard,” Grimmjow laughed.

“Good to know it’s a trait I’m known for,” Ulquiorra replied.

“What is that place you work at anyway. Looks like a dusty old building.”

“Yes the building is old, it was built in the mid 1800. It’s an archive now, I don’t remember what it use to be. We work in connection to several universities and museums, taking care of old documents and repairing them, cataloging them, and right now we’re trying to scan and digitize everything in there. It’s a lot of work, but-”

“Yeah, sounds boring as fuck,” Grimmjow interrupted and Ulquiorra sent him a short look, one eyebrow raised.

“If you say so.”

The conversation moved on. Grimmjow asking a bit about this city, this country. It was so far away from Japan, and so different too. The people, the language, the architecture. Of course Ulquiorra proceeded to give him more information than he had asked for, but he just interrupted whenever he got bored of the stream of information.

“What do you do when you’re not working?” The Ulquiorra he had known was a real workaholic.

“Read. Watch some tv shows. Take care of Ulva.”

“Who?”

“My dog.”

“Oh. Sounds like your life is boring as fuck.”

“I suppose it was very ordinary, besides the lack of memories, until now.”

They reached the train station, and that was when Ulquiorra placed his phone away. Apparently they didn’t work underground, so he would just have to be silent. There was a lot of people here, and the train they got on was rather full too, so they were both standing during the whole trip to Ulquiorra’s stop. Then they stepped out of the train and got to ground level again he picked up the phone once more, and went back to pretending like he was talking in it.

“Fuck there’s a lot of people here,” Grimmjow commented.

“It’s a big city with millions of people living in it,” Ulquiorra said with a shrug.

“Just… not used to a place being this alive.” Hueco Mundo was rather empty after all. Ulquiorra looked over at him with a slight frown, he almost looked worried.

They got to Ulquiorra’s place, and the first thing Ulquiorra did was go for a walk with that stupid dog. Grimmjow followed along, complaining as he did so, but Ulquiorra appeared to be tuning that out, ignoring his whining. Then it was back to Ulquiorra’s place and he proceeded to feed the dog and then start to prepare food for himself.

“You starting to remember anything yet?” Grimmjow asked.

“No.” Short answer.

Food, then they decided to take it easy by the tv, watching some stupid program, both of them making comments about the idiots on tv, and Grimmjow found himself smiling the whole time. This was actually fun. It was so surreal. He was having fun with Ulquiorra.

More dog care, taking it out, feeding it. Ulquiorra getting food now and then, or a cup of tea.

Once Ulquiorra decided it was bedtime, Grimmjow got up and left. He returned the next day, and everything started all over. This time however they went another route, and soon found themselves in a store. Okay, so Ulquiorra needed more food. He followed along, watching him pick up everything he needed, and then they headed home.

It was all pretty routine, and by the fourth day of this Grimmjow knew this routine in and out, and yeah, it was a bit dull, and would have been unbearable had it not been for how insanely boring Hueco Mundo was right now, and for the fact that Ulquiorra was actually a very okay person to be around. He could have fun with him, and he was enjoying his company.

It was the sixth day of this and when Ulquiorra walked out of his workplace he appeared thoughtful, he didn’t greet Grimmjow with the usual smile. Okay, what was this? Had someone been an ass to him at work again? From what he had learned, Ulquiorra didn’t like the people he worked with, he did however like the work, and was glad he got to work on his own for the most part, but he was very much an outsider. He was never included, and he knew they talked shit about him behind his back. To Grimmjow this didn’t seem like a problem at all, but to a human who wasn’t used to fighting for his lives, these tiny things were apparently a lot bigger, and left a much bigger impact on them.

“What’s up?” Grimmjow asked.

“Is my real name Ulquiorra?”

Grimmjow’s eyes widened at that question. He remembered. This was the first thing he had remembered since Grimmjow had started to come here, and just the fact that his presence appeared to be working gave him a lot of hope.

“Yeah, that’s your real name,” Grimmjow confirmed.

“What a strange name.”

“You don’t say.”

They headed back to his place. It was the same as usual, just this one new piece of information, which caused both of them to be very lost in thought. On the train Grimmjow just kept looking at him, studying him, trying to see if there were any other changes he could see. He wondered just how long it would take before something more happened, how long he would have to wait before he remembered something more. How long would it take before Ulquiorra remembered him?

They were back at Ulquiorra’s place, and things went along as usual. Movie time. Grimmjow decided to sit down next to Ulquiorra on the couch this time instead of on one of the chairs he had. Both of them made comments about what was going on in the movie, now and then turning into an argument as Grimmjow found something dumb and Ulquiorra proceeded to explain why it was not dumb, but Grimmjow still thought it was dumb.

At one point he had just been staring at Ulquiorra. He appeared to be getting sleepy. Eyes half lid as he relaxed back against the couch, and Grimmjow felt a sudden urge to move closer, lean in closer. His eyes drifted to the other’s lips, they looked soft. Apparently all this staring didn’t go by unnoticed as Ulquiorra turned his head towards him and Grimmjow just casually looked back towards the tv screen, acting as if it had been nothing.

Time to head back to Hueco Munco.


	4. Loneliness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This AU, or this idea, is actually something I have been toying with ever since Ulquiorra died in the manga. Took me a serious amount of years to get in on paper tho.

It was weekend, and he had now spent close to two weeks with Ulquiorra, and as he had learned weekend meant that there was no work for Ulqui, so Grimmjow figured he could spend the whole day with him. They didn’t do much, just be lazy, walk around in Berlin for a bit, letting Grimmjow see the various places with a guide who actually knew this place. It was a cool place, but Grimmjow was far more interested in Ulquiorra than he was in the city itself.

Ulqui bought a few things, books, some other stuff, whatever, Grimmjow didn’t care what it was he got, he did however care about the look in Ulquiorra’s eyes when he found something that interested him. It was like he lit up, eyes sparkling like a sea of emeralds. Had… had his eyes always been this pretty?

They got home when it was evening. Ulqui made himself some food, and Grimmjow found himself kind of wishing he could have joined Ulquiorra. It sounded nice to have dinner with him, or just eat snacks while watching a movie with him or something.

Another change to the usual routine. Ulquiorra decided to drink alcohol together with the food he ate. Okay, now he wished he could drink with Ulquiorra, that would have been awesome. What would a drunk Ulquiorra even be like?

Food done, so then they decided to continue on a series they had started the day before. Ulquiorra was drinking through the whole thing, and they were talking over half of it, only partly paying attention to what was going on on screen. Thankfully it wasn’t a show that really required you to pay much attention, so this was fine.

“I’m glad you managed to find me,” Ulquiorra said after a moment of silence.

“You would have been fucking dead had I not done so,” Grimmjow shrugged.

“Yes, but… It’s nice to have you around. I…” Ulquiorra paused and looked down into his drink, sighing. “I look forward to seeing you, look forward to getting done with work so that I can get to spend time with you. You’re good company.”

Grimmjow had no answer to this. All he could do was stare at the other. His chest felt strange, and it was as though a burst of energy spread through his body and he could barely sit still. Ulquiorra liked his company. Ulquiorra looked forward to spending time with him. And… he felt the same. He liked being here, he liked being around the other, talking, just chilling, even if everything was rather mundane and routine now. He had never thought he would enjoy something like this as much as he did. Honestly, being in Hueco Mundo was almost unbearable now, he just wanted to stay here…. Permanently.

“You know… I could just move here?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, might get a bit bored though, since I can’t do much while stuck in this form, however there might be a way for me to get a physical form.” As he said this he could see Ulquiorra’s eyes widen. “I can’t promise anything.” He really had no idea if it would work, but it was worth a try. Truly, he wanted to be able to do more than just talk and hang around Ulquiorra, he wanted to take part in the activities he saw Ulquiorra do, and with a physical body he might get to enjoy a few of those things humans appeared to like so much.

“That’s okay, I’m just glad you wish to stick around.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have anything better to do anyway.”

Ulquiorra got up and Grimmjow felt a strong urge to just reach out, grab him, pull him close, but he just watched him instead.

“You will have to sleep on the couch then, if you need to sleep.”

“That’s fine. I’ve slept worse places.”

Ulquiorra smiled softly at him and then retreated to his bedroom. Grimmjow got up too, and opened a garganta. He was not heading to Hueco Mundo however. Instead he found himself in Japan, and it was morning here.

He dashed forward, knowing exactly where he was going, and soon entered Urahara’s store, who pretended to look surprised to see him.

“Grimmjow! What are you doing here? Heard you’ve been spending a lot of time in Germany these days. Beautiful place I have to say, how do you find it?”

He ignored the questions, he wasn't here to take part in small talk. “I need a gigai,” Grimmjow said, this actually appeared to surprise Urahara, but who knows, he could be acting again.

“Oh? And what do you need a gigai for?”

Grimmjow had been ready for that question, so he didn’t need time to think, which might have made him look suspicious. “I want to actually interact with the humans, it’s boring to just watch them.”

“Hmm. Don’t you mean, one specific human?”

Grimmjow froze. Okay, how much did this man know? He had not been ready for that. “I… Whatever,” he scoffed and looked away.

“It’s nice to see that you’ve made a friend Grimmjow… or maybe met an old friend.” Grimmjow shuddered at that. The way he said those last words made it seem as though he knew who Grimmjow had found. “So I will let you have a gigai, just don’t tell anyone I gave you one.”

Grimmjow blinked at him. He had not been sure if the other would actually do it. So with a gigai he returned to Ulquiorra’s place and placed the gigai on the couch before stepping into his bedroom.

He hadn’t been in this room before. Nothing on the walls. There was a desk and some notebooks there, nothing he cared much about. A huge closet covered one wall, and Grimmjow wondered if someone really needed that much space for clothes. Then his gaze turned towards Ulquiorra’s bed. It was big, and looked very comfortable. Curled up at the foot end was Ulva, and sleeping peacefully on his side, Ulquiorra. Grimmjow took another step closer to him. An intense urge to reach out and brush some of that hair away from Ulquiorra's face away hit him, but he ignored it. Instead he left. He would explore the city, find some hollows to beat up, and wait until it was morning.

It took a while, but finally he figured it was time to return and he entered the gigai, which took the shape of him immediately. It felt very, very strange to wear, heavy, so heavy, but he would get used to it eventually. Urahara had apparently fitted it with some standard clothes, so he wasn’t wearing his usual outfit. Instead he was wearing ripped jeans, a dark blue t-shirt and a large grey zip hoodie. It was comfortable at least.

Now he sat down and reached for the remote, turning on the tv and waited for Ulquiorra to awake. It took him at least three hours before he stepped out of the bedroom.

“Finally, I’m starving,” Grimmjow complained, but it looked as though Ulquiorra ignored what he was saying, instead he stepped closer to Grimmjow and studied him. Hesitantly he reached out and placed a hand on Grimmjow’s chest. His touch felt so warm, and he just wanted him to keep his hand there.

“You’re real,” Ulquiorra said, his voice almost just a whisper.

“Yeah, and real people get hungry,” Grimmjow said again.

“I’ll make breakfast soon.”

Grimmjow sat down again and watched him head towards the bathroom and he could hear that he was taking a shower. Okay this was going to take ages. So he just continued to watch tv, only to get very, very distracted when Ulquiorra appeared again, only a towel wrapped around his hips. Something stirred inside of him at the sight and as Ulquiorra disappeared into his room and Grimmjow turned back to the tv, he just could not get the image of half naked Ulquiorra out of his head. Great. Now he was going to think about that for the rest of the day.

Once fully dressed Ulquiorra headed into the kitchen and started to make something. It smelled fucking amazing and was making Grimmjow’s mouth water. The moment it was announced that the food was ready he jumped up and headed into the kitchen where he was handed a plate filled with food. Egg and bacon, that’s what he was told it was called. It looked amazing, and as he started to eat he could confirm that yeah, it was delicious. Who knew human food could be this good?!

“So, you’re going to live here with me now?” Ulquiorra asked carefully and took a sip from his tea.

“Yeah. Deal with it.”

Ulquiorra just smiled in return, looks like he didn't have a problem with that at all.


	5. Learn to be Human

“So now I have to eat and sleep regularly, not just because I want to, but because this body needs it,” Grimmjow confirmed and Ulquiorra nodded.

“And please shower now and then, or else you’re going to smell horrible. We’ll get you some clothes and things you need tomorrow.”

Yeah, he had learned that last week. Things were usually closed on Sundays here. Well, whatever, that would give him time to get used to this body and all its functions.

They had spent the time walking around outside, allowing Grimmjow to feel just what it was like to be out there, affected by the temperatures and weather as they walked the dog. Then more food, and video games later on. These games were frustrating, but mostly because Grimmjow was no good at them. However, seeing the smile on Ulquiorra’s face whenever he won… it made all the frustration go away, and replaced it with such a strange sensation in his chest instead. Could he just continue to smile like that for the rest of the day?

More food, and it was still delicious.

It was getting late, and Grimmjow could feel how the day had tired him, even if he hadn’t really done anything. Apparently it drained him to get used to all of this, and it would still take him a while to get properly used to everything.

Ulquiorra had found blankets and pillows for Grimmjow so that he could sleep on the couch.

“I feel a bit bad for making you sleep here…”

“Do you want me in your bed instead?” Grimmjow asked.

“No,” Ulquiorra admitted, his cheeks a bit red at that question. Okay, that was fucking adorable. Add that to images he was not going to be able to get out of his head.

Ulquiorra retreated to his own room to sleep, and Grimmjow made himself comfortable on the couch, which was honestly very comfortable, but it would take him a while to sleep. Now that he was in silence, alone with his own thoughts, he found himself thinking of a few specific moments. Half naked Ulquiorra, that smile of his, the blush, the way it had felt when his hand had been placed on his chest. It was all fueling something inside of him. Fuck, was he getting aroused by the thought of Ulquiorra?! No, no this was just. No. He shifted and pushed all those thoughts away and somehow managed to fall sleep.

He woke up, still very tired, and realized that it was the smell of food that had awoken him. Ulquiorra was already up and making food for the both of them.

“What the fuck is the time?” Grimmjow groaned and sat up, only to have a plate filled with food place in front of him.

“Early. Just eat and go back to sleep if you want to. I have to head to work, so you’ll have to entertain yourself while I’m gone,” Ulquiorra said. Not a bad suggestion, he had to admit.

He ate the delicious food and curled up on the couch again, listening to Ulquiorra move around and then left. Like before it took him a while before he fell asleep again.

Grimmjow woke up a few hours later, but decided to just lay there and be lazy for a while longer. He did however bother to turn on the tv, and find something to watch, and ended up watching a program about really, really weird humans with really, really weird fucking obsessions. What the fuck humans.

When it was getting close to when Ulquiorra was to be done at work he jumped out of the gigai and just left it on the couch as he went to meet up with him.

Ulquiorra looked puzzled at first. “You can just leave your human body whenever you want?” he asked.

They went back to his place, and good thing Grimmjow had remembered to meet up since this time they did meet a hollow, which Grimmjow killed with one kick. Man these things were so weak, couldn’t something stronger come along so that he could have a bit of fun. Ulquiorra did however look very impressed with him, which was a good feeling, it made him feel a lot prouder than he would have thought it would.

They got back to his place and Grimmjow slipped back into the gigai. Food, and then they were going to head out, and apparently they were going to use Ulquiorra’s car. He knew he had one, he just didn’t use it when going to work since parking was apparently a nightmare and the gas prices here were ridiculous. At first Grimmjow hadn’t really understood the big deal when it came to money, but he had soon enough understood the importance, and just how much weight those number or pieces of paper had. Everything cost something. EVERYTHING. Without money you couldn’t live since food cost things, your home cost things. Everything cost something! And the only way to get money was by working. Thankfully it didn’t seem like Ulquiorra had any money issues, but now he was planning to spend a lot of money on Grimmjow, which almost made him feel a bit bad.

They drove to a mall or supermarket or something like that. A huge building. It took a while for them to find a spot to park the car, but now Grimmjow understood what he meant by parking problems because holy shit this place was full! They got out of the car and headed into the center. Clothes first. It was something he had never thought much of. He had been wearing the same clothes for ages, mainly since it was all made out of reishi, so they weren’t clothes like the ones humans were wearing.

At first he wasn’t entirely sure how to go about with this, but Ulquiorra had just told him to walk around and have a look, and if he found something that interested him then he could pick it down and go into one of those booth thingies to try it on. Simple enough.

They found nothing for him in the first clothing shop, nothing in the next one either, but then they came to one that had a lot of stuff he liked. Apparently ‘denim’ or whatever that was, was something for him, that and t-shirts. Just laid back and comfy, that’s what he wanted. So now they had several bags, and there were still things they needed. Shower things, and other things for the bathroom. Ulquiorra told him quietly why this was important, and Grimmjow concluded that being human was one hell of a hassle. There was so much he needed to think about, and so much that had to be done.

Another thing he had noticed was the way a few people looked at him, at least the girls. At first he had wondered if they were challenging him to fight, but… that was not a very human thing to do, instead one of the girls had started to blush when he had looked in her direction.

“What the hell is up with them?” Grimmjow asked.

“I think they might find you attractive.”

Uh. Okay, that was not something he had given a damn about before. Yeah, he was confident in his looks, but it was mostly because he wanted to look strong and confident, not to attract someone. So here he was considered physically attractive. Did that mean Ulquiorra might find him attractive? He looked over at the other. But if Ulquiorra did find him attractive, how would he be able to tell? And why the heck was this suddenly so important to him?

They got a few more things they needed, and then went back to the car and on the way home they went.

“I’ll get you a phone once I’ve been paid, and I will get you a copy of the key to my apartment tomorrow, so that you can come and go as want, without having to go into your spirit form to go anywhere,” Ulquiorra said as they drove. The traffic was slow as hell right now, so they were stuck here for a while. Rush hour, that’s what it was called, right?

“Man you guys have to keep track of so much shit,” Grimmjow huffed.

“I guess it must be a bit overwhelming for you, but it’ll get easier as time goes by. Can I ask what you did before you found me?”

“Nothing much. Hueco Mundo, where we’re both from, it just a huge empty wasteland, with some hostile creatures walking around. You spend your time fighting, killing… nothing much more than that.”

“Sounds incredibly dull.”

“It wasn’t at first, but things happened, and yeah… it became fucking boring to just wander around there, that’s why I came here.” and I’m glad I found you.

“Well, I’m glad you’re no longer bored,” Ulquiorra said and sent Grimmjow a smile. Fuck those smiles, they just went straight to his chest and made him feel so strange. Made him want to reach out and… “Finally home.” He was pulled out of his thoughts as Ulquiorra spoke. Yeah, they were back.


	6. Feelings

Two more weeks had passed. He had grown used to this body, and the routines he had learned to follow. Showering wasn’t bad at all, it was actually very relaxing, though he just needed to remember to exit the bathroom wearing a towel or something. The first time he had walked out of there, he hadn’t been wearing a thread on his body, and Ulquiorra had told him to kindly cover himself up. The hint of pink in Ulquiorra’s cheeks had not gone by unnoticed.

During the day Grimmjow had found himself walking around the area, familiarizing himself with the place. There was a park just nearby, and Ulquiorra would often take that dog there to play or just let her run around. Grimmjow didn’t mind he dog anymore, it was well behaved, and didn’t bother him, and it made Ulquiorra smile, so who the fuck was he to complain. Except he found himself slightly jealous each time it was the dog who made Ulquiorra smile, and not himself.

Now he was laying on the couch, it was dark and quiet around him, but he couldn’t sleep. His thoughts were on Ulquiorra the whole time. The longer he stayed here, the more he felt towards him, and he had come to accept that yes, he did find Ulquiorra attractive. However… it was more than that now. It wasn’t just a physical attraction.

Earlier that day, while being half asleep he had found himself watching a program that explored the science of love, and at some point during that program he had found himself wide awake. Everything the people who were in love in that program described applied to him. Those sensations, those wishes, it all matched what he was going through.

Was he falling in love with Ulquiorra!? What the hell! It had been fine if he just found him attractive, but this here, these feelings. He should not be having them, since… at some point Ulquiorra would return to normal, and when that happened…

He let out a low sigh. He knew he couldn’t act on those feelings, he shouldn’t, once Ulquiorra was back to normal he would kill him for doing so. He was sure of it. And yet, he couldn’t get the other out of his head. In fact, when he closed his eyes his mind would start to wander, remembering what he looked like half naked, that slender frame… imagined how good he would look underneath himself. That light blush on his cheeks, and….

He shifted, he had started to grow hard just thinking about these things, but for once he decided to allow his mind to continue to go wherever it wanted. Normally he would have stopped at this point, but fuck it. Might as well see where this went. This mind decided to stay on the thought of Ulquiorra underneath him, naked, want in his eyes, close to begging Grimmjow to take him. What would it feel like to be inside him? Bet he was nice and tight. He wondered what sort of noises he would make while Grimmjow fucked him. For a moment his mind decided to stay on the image of his own cock slowly enter Ulquiorra, what a fucking amazing view that would be.

He reached down between his legs, just wanting to deal with this now as he was rock hard, precum dripping from the tip. At first he stroked slowly, a part of him couldn’t believe that he was touching himself to the thought of fucking Ulquiorra, but man would Ulquiorra look amazing getting fucked. He would love to know what it felt like to be inside of him. He stroked faster, his other arm placed over his mouth to muffle any noises he might make, he really did not wish to wake Ulquiorra up because he was too loud while jerking off.

He only barely managed to stop himself from moaning when he came. Fuck it had been so damn long since last time he had touched himself, but he felt like with this… he would end up making a habit out of this. He got up and disappeared into the bathroom to clean up the mess he had made, and when he returned it really took him no time to fall asleep.

In the morning, when he saw Ulquiorra, he couldn’t help but study him as he walked by, his eyes immediately moved to his ass when Ulquiorra’s back was to him. Fuck, he did have a nice ass.

Being near Ulquiorra was even more of a pain now. He just wanted to reach out and touch him, wanted to kiss him, make him feel hot and heavy, make him feel the way he was making Grimmjow feel, but he wasn’t an idiot. There was no way he could act on what he felt, so he would just have to behave like normal, and keep all of this to himself no matter how frustrating, or painful, it was.


	7. Pale

Grimmjow had lost track of how long he had been here now. A month maybe? All he knew was that it was apparently September now, and it would get colder soon, so once again he would need more clothes so that he would be able to deal with that. It was almost exciting that the seasons changed here. In a month’s time the leaves might start to get orange and yellow and fall off, and in December it might even start to snow! 

He slowly sat up on the couch with a groan. Not only had a made it a habit of jerking off to the thought of Ulquiorra, but now he had started to have dream about fucking him, and more than once had ha woken up and made a bit of a mess, but usually it never went that far and he was just painfully hard instead when he woke up.

Grimmjow had been about to deal with this issue between his legs when Ulquiorra stepped out of his bedroom, and Grimmjow quickly made sure that he was properly covered and then turned to look at the other… who looked incredibly pale.

“You feeling alright?” He asked and Ulquiorra looked over at him with a puzzled expression. He was just as pale as he used to be when he was an Arrancar now.

“Yes, I feel fine. Why?”

“Just checking if you were sick or just starting to return to your old self.”

This answer didn’t appear to help Ulquiorra much as he still looked confused as he headed into the bathroom, only to appear a couple of seconds later.

“I see what you meant now.”

Grimmjow smirked and waited for him to disappear into the bathroom again, and soon he could hear the shower being turned on. Okay, it was safe to finally get rid of this boner. He made himself comfortable on the couch, eyes closed as he let his mind go wherever it wanted as he started to stroke. He managed to finish long before Ulqui was done in the shower. Thankfully. He kept his eyes closed, just waiting for the other to get done. When he heard the door open he looked up and saw Ulquiorra walk by, the towel wrapped around his hips was hanging real low, and he couldn’t help the way he looked him over, and he wished that towel would just drop so that he could see the rest.

Once Ulquiorra had disappeared into his bedroom Grimmjow got up and quickly headed into the bathroom to take a shower. While in the bathroom he could hear Ulquiorra move around out there, and figured he was making breakfast now. He couldn’t be bothered to fix his hair at the moment so once he was dressed he got out of there, his stomach growling angrily as he was very ready to get something to eat.

He paused in the doorway to the kitchen and watched the other work. For a moment he imagined himself step up to Ulquiorra, wrap his arms around him, and hug him tightly, face pressed against the smaller male’s neck. Or spin him around so that he could kiss him. Instead he just sighed. What had started out as something fun, a project he wanted to do to keep the boredom away, and to restore someone he had spent so much time with, had turned into something very different.

Breakfast was good, as usual.

“I wish I could have seen your face when you noticed just how fucking pale you are now,” Grimmjow smirked.

“I was not surprised by what I saw, so you would have been disappointed,” Ulquiorra replied and rose an eyebrow slightly. “It felt… right. Like this is the skin tone I am supposed to have, but I can still tell that there is something that is not quite right when I see myself in the mirror. There is still something missing.”

“You’re right,” Grimmjow confirmed.

Ulquiorra had to leave for work. At this point Grimmjow had found quite a few things to do to occupy his time. Tv, his phone, video games, working out, or just walking around in the area. Now and then he even returned to Hueco Mundo just to see how things were going and each time he was met with a question of where he had been, and his answer was just a snarky “away from you guys” each time. He didn’t need them to know what he was up to or who he had found. This needed to be kept as a secret for as long as possible.

Then he met up with Ulquiorra outside his work and they headed back to his place together. Apparently people had been giving him very weird looks because of his appearance now. Well, it would just get worse, that he could promise the other, especially if the human form was going to get everything except the hollow mask.

The rest of the day moved along like usual. In the end they ended up watching some tv series on tv… until Ulquiorra fell asleep, and he fell asleep against Grimmjow. It felt like his mind had just stopped as he felt the weight of Ulquiorra’s body against his side. He looked down at Ulquiorra. Man, he looked so peaceful, and the way his lips were slightly parted. Never had he been this tempted to kiss him, but he knew it was not a good idea. Instead he carefully picked Ulquiorra up. Fuck he was light. For a moment he just stood there, Ulquiorra in his arms, his head resting against Grimmjow’s chest. This was surreal, and he wasn’t sure how many chances like this he would get where he got to be this close to the other, to hold him like this or just touch him without it being weird.

He carried Ulquiorra with him into Ulquiorra’s bedroom and lay him down in bed and placed the cover over him. For a moment after that he just stood there by the bed, watching the other. He should probably leave, but instead of doing so he knelt down by the bed and reached out to brush some of Ulquiorra’s hair out of his face, his thumb brushing over Ulquiorra’s cheek. His skin felt so soft. Grimmjow leaned a bit closer, but stopped when he realized what he was about to do. Idiot. So instead he got to his feet and walked out of there. He should not be acting on these feelings.


	8. Night out

Grimmjow couldn’t stop the grin on his face. Up until now they hadn’t spent much time outside in the afternoon, especially not during the weekends, but at one point Grimmjow had asked what the nightlife was like, and Ulquiorra had suggested they go out and get a few drinks. This was something he had been curious about for a while. He had heard enough about the drinking going on at night, and seen it happen so many times on tv he had wanted to experience it for himself, and this would be a good moment to see if he could get Ulquiorra a bit drunk too. He was cute when drunk, he couldn’t help it. Only thing was that he hoped no one else would notice how pretty he was. However, from previous experiences it really didn’t seem like anyone had shown any interest in Ulquiorra, so he supposed he didn’t actually have to worry, but knowing this wasn’t really enough to stop him from feeling protective of the other. Or possessive as some would say. Same deal.

They stepped into a pub. So this was where they were they were going to start the evening. Order food, get some beer.

As they looked over the menu the first thought that came to Grimmjow’s mind was how much of a date this looked like, and that thought made something in his chest flutter. He wondered if anyone else thought it looked like a date, or just two friends going out for some food and a bit to drink. For a moment he looked over at Ulquiorra who was standing next to him, looking at the menu, since they had to order by the bar so they hadn’t bothered to find a place to sit yet. As he looked down at the other he was so tempted to wrap an arm around him, hold him close, but he couldn’t. He needed to keep these urges under control. He should not be acting on stupid feelings. So he turned back to the menu.

Burger and beer, that’s what Grimmjow decided to go for. Apparently the burgers they made here were really really good. Ulquiorra went for something similar, though instead of red meat he went with a chicken burger and ordered extra fries, and beer. So with that ordered they found a table to sit by, and soon enough someone arrived and placed the beer in front of them.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Grimmjow asked and took a long sip from the beer. He had really grown to like this stuff.

“It’s called bar hopping. We’ll be going to various clubs and bars, not staying at one place for very long, just so that you can get to see the various places here,” Ulquiorra said and picked up his phone.

By now Grimmjow had lived with him long enough and knew him well enough to guess what he was doing.

“Looking for places we should go uh? Let me guess, you don’t spend much time drinking outside of your home,” Grimmjow smiled. He hadn’t seen Ulquiorra do it before, and he really wasn’t the type to party.

“Sounds like I’ll need a new roommate, you know me too well,” Ulquiorra said with a smile and took a long sip from his beer. That smile was just so fucking pretty. Had Grimmjow been drinking then he was sure he would have choked on his beer. Too bad that smile was going to disappear as soon as Ulquiorra returned to normal, he was going to miss the hell out of it.

The food arrived, and it was good, really good, though Grimmjow found he preferred the food Ulquiorra made… but that might just be because it was Ulquiorra who made it. Fuck he was in too deep at this point. He was far too attracted to the other, and yet he kept doing things like these that just caused him to grow closer to him, and everything just got worse from there. How many times had he found himself just fantasizing about him now? Not just sexual things, but just boring normal human things. Now it had become so normal that it no longer alarmed him, however these thoughts did make him feel rather agitated since he knew he couldn’t do anything about it, everything would just have to stay inside his mind. He could never let Ulquiorra know how he felt.

They finished the burgers and beer, and got themselves another beer, now just relaxing and talking. The mood was light, comfortable, and Grimmjow allowed himself to get lost in it, just not giving a single fuck about anything else or any of the stupid thoughts in his mind, that was until the moments he almost found himself acting on the feelings he held. Leaning in a bit too close, or almost reaching out for the other.

They finished their second beer and stepped out of the pub. It was dark now, and yet the streets were full. He looked around as he followed Ulquiorra. They usually weren’t in Berlin in the evening, so this was new to him, and he liked it. It was dark, but it wasn’t dead or silent. They stepped into another pub and Grimmjow ordered beer, like before, while Ulquiorra decided to go for some sort of cocktail. When they were given what they ordered Grimmjow couldn’t help the look he gave the other. That thing was bright purple. What the heck. They sat down by a table in a corner. Grimmjow was surprised they found a place to sit at all, this place was full of people, and it was a lot louder than the place they had been at earlier, so Grimmjow was forced to stay closer to Ulquiorra to talk to him, which really didn’t help his situation.

“What the hell is that drink?” Grimmjow asked as he stared at that purple mixture.

“It’s called water lily,” Ulquiorra replied and took a sip from it. “It’s a bit sour, but good.”

“Uh.” Yeah, those weird drinks he didn’t really get, but Ulquiorra could drink whatever he wanted, but now that Ulquiorra had moved to the drinks with stronger stuff in them, he knew he was going to get drunk rather quickly… and he would have to take care of him. There was something about that he really liked, and the possessive part of him started to stir. No one was going to be allowed to get close to Ulquiorra. No one. He was going to fight whoever tried.

The thought of someone flirting with Ulquiorra caused anger to rise within him and never had the urge to wrap an arm around the other been stronger. There was no way he was going to let anyone get close to him, or touch him. It might be selfish, and possessive, but he didn’t care. Ulquiorra belonged to him.

As these thoughts raged through his mind they kept talking and drinking. The mood was still light, and no one appeared to give a single fuck about the two of them. Another drink, and this time Grimmjow decided to try whiskey, and it was good too. A lot stronger, but he liked it. This new drink of Ulquiorra’s was bright blue.

Now he could notice that the alcohol had started to affect Ulquiorra. No one else would notice of course, it was subtle, very much so, but with how much time Grimmjow spent looking at him, studying him, taking in every aspect of the other, he noticed. It was cute. Really cute.

They finished their drinks and Ulquiorra decided that they should head to another place, and Grimmjow didn’t protest. As they got up he had worried that Ulquiorra would be unsteady or struggle with his balance, but he had no such problem. He walked as though he was perfectly sober. Out into the dark they went, and now it was really pitch black, and the only people who were out were those we were there to drink, or maybe heading home from work if they worked really late. This was also very different from what he had grown used to, the crowd out now was so different from the daytime crowd. This time they did not walk into a pub, but a nightclub, and it was wild.

He had only see what these places looked like on tv, and being at a place like this in real life was very different. First of all, a lot more people than on tv, and a looot louder, and a lot darker. Grimmjow had just been standing there for a moment, taking in the atmosphere, the music, and the crowd, that was when he felt his hand being taken and as he looked down he saw that it was Ulquiorra who had gently gripped him, and was now pulling him along with a smile. This was surreal. His hand felt so warm, and Ulquiorra’s skin was so soft. He hoped the other just kept holding on to him like this for the rest of the night. Just don’t let go.

Sadly he did let go as they reached the bar and this time in additional to the beer and cocktail, they ordered shots, and then found themselves a table. Good thing most of the people were on the dance floor since Grimmjow was sure there wasn’t enough place for even half of these people to sit.

“Cheers,” Ulquiorra said with a smile and lifted his shot and then downed it, Grimmjow followed his example and found himself coughing afterwards.

“What the fuck,” he commented and took a sip from his beer.

“Perhaps I should have warned you about how strong these can be,” Ulquiorra chuckled and moved on to his bright pink drink. Was he trying to drink his way through every damn colour there is or something? “At least now you’ll know next time.”

“Next time?”

“M-hm~” Ulquiorra smiled behind the rim of the cocktail glass. There was something about that smile that caused shivers to run up his back. Why was this arousing him!? Also, worst fucking place to start getting horny.

So instead of focusing on the other he decided to chug down his beer, and sat back and looked around. Looking at a few of the people walking by, and at least twice he saw a girl wink at him, only to proceed to look disappointed when he didn’t even react or look at them for more than a second longer.

“I’ll get us more to drink, sit here or we’ll lose this table,” Ulquiorra said and rose to his feet, still surprisingly steady.

Grimmjow just watched him walk away, his attention still in the direction of where he had gone even when he couldn’t see him anymore. He could just have picked the table up and walked with him, since he really, REALLY, didn’t like the other being away from him like this. Now he couldn’t protect him or prevent people from getting too close to him. Then there was movement just out of the corner of his eye and he turned and saw that a woman had decided to sit down across from him… on Ulquiorra’s seat. She said something to him, half leaned over the table so that her tits were pretty much hanging out of her dress. Whatever she said he didn’t know, it was in German, and he didn’t understand it. So instead of saying anything he decided to just show her the middle finger, as this was thankfully a universal language. Of course she looked offended as all hell and was quick to get up and walk away.

“You’re very good with the ladies I see,” Ulquiorra commented as he took over her seat moments later. He had apparently seen the whole ordeal.

“Not interested,” Grimmjow scoffed and looked at what Ulquiorra placed in front of him. Another shot, and a beer. At least this time he was ready. He downed the shot and then took a sip from the beer just to get rid of that strong taste. Now he could feel that he had been drinking for a while, and he was sure Ulquiorra could really feel it now.

“You know. There is a place where there’s no ladies,” Ulquiorra said slowly.

“Sounds cool,” Grimmjow replied without hesitation and took another sip from his beer.

“B…” Ulquiorra paused, causing Grimmjow to raise an eyebrow at him. “It’s a club for men who are attracted to men, just so you are warned.”

“So?” Grimmjow didn’t see a problem with that. Then… wait. The girls here were clearly not interested in Ulquiorra, but what if guys at those clubs were?

Before he could say anything else Ulquiorra got up, already having finished his drink. Had he chugged it down or something? “Let’s go,” the former Cuatro said with a smile and Grimmjow got up while gulping down his beer. Might as well see what these boys clubs were like.

They got out of there and headed towards a street Grimmjow had never been in. This was a very interesting place. Clubs on either sides, and in between those were sex shops and other strange places he had not seen before.

“BDSM clubs,” Ulquiorra explained, as if that made any sense to him, that was until Ulquiorra explained a bit more what the heck that was. Okay, kinky shit, cool. And for half a second he imagine Ulquiorra tied up or with a collar around his neck. Yeah, this was NOT the right fucking moment to imagine shit like that. Save it for later.

“You into this sort of stuff?” Grimmjow asked casually as he watched two men walk by, both covered in leather and one pulling the other along on a leash.

“I don’t know if I’m into bdsm,” Ulquiorra shrugged. “I can’t say I have any experience with that, not any I can remember at least.”

_I would love to give you some experience with that._

Good thing he didn’t say that out loud, he didn’t want to freak the other out, not now. They entered a club, and as Grimmjow had feared, he could see how they looked Ulquiorra up and down, but they also looked at Grimmjow, who just glared at them in return, and thankfully they took a hint. Now Grimmjow kept very close to Ulquiorra and found himself wrapping an arm around his shoulder just to make sure no one tried to do anything.

“They are looking at you as if they want to fucking eat you,” Grimmjow commented when Ulquiorra looked like he was about to ask what Grimmjow was doing. It was true, but also, he just wanted to touch Ulquiorra, and this was the perfect excuse.

They got to the bar and ordered a couple of drinks and then found a table. This time Ulquiorra stumbled a bit, and thankfully Grimmjow was there to hold him or he might have fallen. Yeah, now he was getting real drunk. Should probably get him home at some point soon. The music here was just as loud as in the other club so they had to stay close to talk, incredibly close. Fuck, the times Ulquiorra looked up at him he could just have leaned down a little bit to kiss him. It was so damn tempting, and he wasn’t sure how he had the willpower to resist. Didn’t make it any better that now and then Ulquiorra would lean his head against his shoulder. He was going to be thinking about this for weeks, he could tell that much.

They drank and talked. One drink, two drinks. Okay the place was closing up, probably time to go home. Now Ulquiorra wasn’t all that stable as he walked, so he had to lean on Grimmjow. Fuck going to the train station to take a train home, they would need a fucking taxi for this, and thankfully that was easy to come by right now since they knew people were heading home at this hour. Into one taxi, and thankfully Ulquiorra remembered his own address, and home they went. The taxi was paid for and Grimmjow helped him up to their apartment, and the whole time all he could focus on was how close they were, and how much touching was involved. It was making him sober up pretty damn fast.

So they got home, and Grimmjow was still not going to let the other go of the smaller male. He should probably get Ulquiorra something to eat, but cooking was not something he had learned, so fuck that. Instead he helped Ulquiorra to bed, and he was out like a light. Leaving Grimmjow to just stand there, next to his bed, watching him. He looked so peaceful. Grimmjow couldn’t help it, he just had to reach out and brush aside a few black strands of hair, and once he had done that he leaned just a little bit closer, then closer. But he stopped. No, he shouldn’t kiss him, he would just make this worse for himself. So he straightened up and walked out of his bedroom.


	9. Sick

So that was another aspect of being human. You could get sick. Sure he knew spirits could too, but he had never heard of a hollow getting sick, so this was new to him, and very stressful.

He sat by Ulquiorra’s bed and watched him pretty much the whole time, even if Ulquiorra insisted that he would be fine in a few days, he was still worried as hell. Humans were so very, very fragile.

“Did you always care this much for me?” Ulquiorra asked, and it caused Grimmjow to pause for a very long moment. What was he supposed to answer? ‘No I hated your guts and spent most of my time wanting to beat the crap out of you?’ Lying wouldn’t be right either, since at some point he would remember, right?

“It’s complicated,” he said instead and looked away, only to turn back when he felt Ulquiorra tak his hand.

“It’s okay, I understand.”

Grimmjow didn’t doubt that. They both knew that he would slowly start to regain things, so telling him anything now wasn’t much of a point, unless when Grimmjow had to. He would remember soon enough. Soon enough. Grimmjow no longer looked forward to that, he just wanted Ulquiorra to stay like this, friendly and warm, he didn’t want him to go back to the cold unfeeling person he had been before. What if he decided to just leave Grimmjow once he had returned to whom he had once been?! No, he didn’t want to think about that. Maybe… maybe these feelings would go away once Ulquiorra was the way he had once been.

That gave him hope. Then this crush wouldn’t last forever, though he had started to worry just how deep these feelings had started to become, just how much he genuinely cared for the other. It was a really bad sign, but he could hope that he was right, that it would all go away once Ulquiorra was back to normal.

“You need anything?” Grimmjow asked. Well, it did feel nice to take care of him for once, since Ulquiorra usually did everything here. He had managed to teach Grimmjow a bit of cooking, so he knew the basics of how the kitchen worked now.

“Water?”

“I’m getting food for you too, you haven’t eaten today, and when you’re sick you need to eat,” Grimmjow added and rose to his feet.

“Been watching health programs again?”

“Shut up!”

Ulquiorra knew him too well. Yes, he had been watching all sort of educational programs, and when Ulquiorra had started to get sick he had quickly tried to figure out what he could do to help and what one had to do to help a human get back to full health. Of course, with that he had learned about some pretty terrifying illnesses humans could get, and just how easy it was for them to get really, really sick. With this new knowledge he had been very paranoid, thankfully Ulquiorra had managed to calm him down.

Humans got sick, it just happened, but usually it wasn’t anything serious, and if it was, then thankfully there were other humans who could help them.

“You’re not allowed to fucking die,” Grimmjow mumbled to himself as he stood in the kitchen. Okay, what should he make for him. Well, there was water, but he would give him tea as well, and he knew how Ulquiorra liked it. Um, crumpets, good, then maybe sunny side up egg. What else could he give him? Bacon. Bacon was always good! He would make him something more dinner like later, for now this would have to do.

He prepared it all and walked back into the bedroom with the food and tea on a tray and placed it on Ulquiorra’s lap. Once he would have hated to do tasks like these, servant tasks, but right now he couldn’t have given less of a fuck. This was about Ulquiorra’s life, his health, and though Ulquiorra kept telling him it was just a cold, Grimmjow couldn’t help the nagging fear that it might be more dangerous than it looked.

“Thank you,” Ulquiorra smiled and started to eat. “Maybe I should ask you to make dinner some of these days, you’ve really started to figure out how the kitchen works.”

Make dinner for them. In his mind that looked a lot more like a date than it probably should have. He just imagined all the scenes he had seen from those stupid romcom movies where the dude was preparing dinner for his date and everything was just going wrong, and yet somehow that didn’t matter.

“Sure, just don’t make me prepare one of those weird complicated dishes you make,” Grimmjow replied with a shrug, acting like nothing, or trying to at least.

“I have cook books you can use.”

Okay, so he was going to help with the dinner from now on. Well, at least he had more thing to do then, more than before. Man would the others have laughed at him now. He could just imagine Nnoitra pointing at him and calling him a housewife or something. Whatever. Those fuckers were dead, and really, he would do anything to keep Ulquiorra smiling like that.

“Sure, I’ll cook.”


	10. New view

So they got to the first day of October, and it had started to get darker earlier, and everything was getting a lot colder. Because of this another shopping trip had been needed to get Grimmjow warmer clothes, especially a new jacket. He had noticed that he didn’t really mind shopping, it allowed him to get out of the apartment, even if he could come and go as he pleased, and spend time with Ulquiorra and usually they would eat dinner while they were out too since they spent so much damn time going from store to store or get distracted because someone had a sweet tooth and that someone was not Grimmjow, so they would both be too tired to make dinner at home at the end of the day.

“How many waffles did you eat? I counted four,” Grimmjow asked as they sat down on the couch, finally back and time to just relax.

“I ate six,” Ulquiorra confessed with a smile.

“Holy shit,” Grimmjow laughed and shook his head. “You’re a fucking black hole.”

Ulquiorra shrugged and sat down next to him. “Oh, I was thinking of something. Since it’s October 1st now, and Halloween is coming up-”

“It’s weeks until Halloween.” And yet Halloween decorations had in stores for like a month already. He was almost starting to grow tired of it.

“I know, I know. But I was thinking. We could watch one horror movie every day up until Halloween.”

Grimmjow looked over at the other and the look on Ulquiorra’s face was going to make him melt. Now he frucking understood what people meant when they talked about ‘puppy eyes’, because damn it! Big green eyes were staring at him hopefully, wanting him to agree, and even if Grimmjow had been against the idea, and not just neutral, it would have been fucking impossible to say no to Ulquiorra when he was looking at him like that.

“Fiiine, we can do that.” Just pretending it was a bigger deal than it was. Really, he just needed to look away from him before he leaned in and kissed him since that had been so incredibly tempting.

And with that Ulquiorra jumped out of the couch and went and got snacks for them, and sat down on the couch again, this time.... He was pretty much leaning against Grimmjow. Oh fuck. He hadn’t ever decided to sit this close to him before, and though he knew he should move away, get some space between them, he decided to not do that. He stayed there, and barely noticed that Ulquiorra was looking through what Netflix had to offer in terms of horror movies as he was too busy focusing on how warm the other was.

“Oh, we can start with this one.” Ulquiorra said, causing Grimmjow to snap out of it. He looked towards the screen and the title was “Paranormal Activity”. A ghost movie… Okay then.

So the movie started, and like usual they kept talking and commenting on what was going on. It really took fucking ages for anything to happen in this movie, so Grimmjow was starting to get bored, and even when something did happen, all he could do was smile or chuckle. This was ridiculous, that was not how ghosts behaved. However, one of those ‘jumpscares’ did cause Ulquiorra to cling to him for a moment, and that was really the highlight of the whole movie night.

“Well, that was interesting. I remember everyone saying that it was terrifying, but there was really just one scary sce- OUGH!”

Grimmjow quickly turned towards Ulquiorra when there was an exclamation of pain. Ulquiorra had lowered his head slightly, and he could see that he was covering his eyes with one hand.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Grimmjow said and placed his hands on Ulquiorra’s shoulders. Fragile fucking humans. You better not break now, or get sick or something stupid like that!

“Just… my eyes hurt for a moment,” Ulquiorra replied and lowered his hand and looked up at Grimmjow.

For a second he was completely speechless. Yeah, he could understand why they would hurt, because that was a change. Humans normally had round pupils, he had never seen one with any other shape, but now Ulquiorra’s pupils were slits, like that of a nocturnal animal, and in addition to that, his eyes almost appeared to glow in the dim lights. Those were almost the eyes of the person he had once known. Almost. They were just missing that coldness to them.

“You should take a look in a mirror,” Grimmjow commented. There was a slight frown and Ulquiorra got up and paused as he looked around. “What?”

“Everything… looks sharper. It’s like I can see details I didn’t notice before,” he said and looked over at Grimmjow, who found himself freezing in place. Okay, that look he knew, oh he knew it well. Ulquiorra was studying him. Then he turned and walked into the bathroom and was gone for only a couple of seconds before returning. “I know I should be alarmed by this, but I am really not. It feels normal.”

“Nothing in our fucking world is normal, and believe me, this is still only the fucking beginning of it,” Grimmjow said as he watched Ulquiorra step over to one of the huge windows in his apartments and looked outside.

“This is… magnificent. I can see so far. It might take me a bit to get used to, even if this feels right.”

“Been a fucking while since you had those eyes so,” Grimmjow shrugged. Another step closer towards the Ulquiorra he had once known. He should want that, he knew he should, but it made him feel bad. Fuck he was going to miss this version of it once it was gone. “Think it’s time for us to sleep.”

Ulquiorra turned towards him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wro-”

“You’re lying.”

Grimmjow sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Fine, I’ll just come out and say it. Your real you is kind of an asshole, not the most pleasant guy to be around.”

“You’re worried I will go back to that. I guess that is understandable, but I think you’re overlooking one minor detail.”

“What?”

“I will still have the memories of my time as a human. I doubt I will be exactly how you remember me once I have regained everything I have lost.”

Grimmjow chuckled and shook his head. “I hope you are fucking right.”

“All we can do is wait and see.”


	11. Visitor

Grimmjow flipped through his phone as he walked down the street. Ulquiorra had decided to send him to fetch a few things at the store, and Grimmjow really didn’t mind, it gave him a break from looking at the other. In the meantime Ulquiorra was going to figure out which movie for them to watch. Cool. Though the movies weren’t scary at all, or Grimmjow didn’t find them scary, a few of the movies had managed to spook Ulquiorra a bit, which was fucking adorable.

He had adapted pretty well to this new environment, and it was really thanks to Ulquiorra. Freaking idiot got him all these things and showed him how to use them. It was neat, and human life wasn’t that bad, especially since Hueco Mundo was boring as fuck. Nothing to do there at all, nothing. He had visited a few times, but now it had almost been a month since last time he was there, and he was not planning to head back anytime soon. Maybe not until Ulquiorra had returned to normal.

“Grimmjow!”

Grimmjow froze and then quickly spun towards the voice. “What the fuck are you doing here?!”

“What sort of greeting is that?” Urahara grinned. “I am just travelling. Need a vacation now and then.”

Grimmjow’s eyes narrowed. “You need a vacation, and you chose to come here?” Yeah, he was not buying that.

“Why not? Berlin is a beautiful place, don’t you think? And you look like you’ve settled in nicely here, enjoying the domestic life?”

“Just get to the fucking point or get lost. I have other things to do,” Grimmjow scoffed and continued on towards the store.

“It is only a matter of time before Soul Society finds out about Ulquiorra.”

Grimmjow paused, but didn’t turn towards the other. Yeah, if someone saw Ulquiorra, someone who had known who he was before he had died and managed to recognize him now, then Soul Society would find out.

“So? He’s human.”

“And for how long will that last? He could be considered a danger, after all, he was very loyal to Aizen.”

“You don’t think I fucking know that?!” Grimmjow turned towards Urahara as he growl those words. He fucking knew how loyal Ulquiorra was, but he also remembered something Ulquiorra had said when he had shown concern for Ulquiorra returning to his old self. “But we don’t know what he will be like when he regains what he has lost now. So don’t come here and jump to fucking conclusion.”

“I would never jump to conclusion,” Urahara replied, pretending to be offended, which just annoyed Grimmjow even more. “However, I cannot say the same for others.” And with that Urahara walked away, and Grimmjow did not intend to follow him.

He knew Urahara was right, others would fear Ulquiorra returning to who he had been, and he could only imagine how Kurosaki or that girl would feel about his return. They had been been harmed by Ulquiorra, and was not likely to quickly forget what they had been through as the human mind apparently liked to hold on to fears and bad experiences from the past.

He continued on to the store, and bought what it was Ulquiorra had wanted him to get before returning home. The whole time he was thinking about what the hell could happen if Soul Society found out, if they decided that Ulquiorra was a danger that had to be removed. He was pretty sure they wouldn’t attack a human like that, or at least not openly orchestrate it, but he couldn’t be so sure if some Shinigami wouldn’t try, gripped by fear of what might happen if Ulquiorra returned. He was pretty sure the same fear wasn’t felt towards Harribel, or if Starrk had returned. The problem was his loyalty to Aizen, and what that loyalty might make him do.

So… if they wanted to try to get rid of Ulquiorra, what would he do? Really, that wasn’t even a question he needed to ask or think about, since he knew he would defend Ulquiorra with everything he had.

“There you are.”

Grimmjow was drawn out of his thoughts, and now realized that he was back home, and been greeted by a smile. Fucking hell he was going to protect that smile.

“Lot of people at the store,” Grimmjow said to explain why it had taken so long. Ulquiorra sent him a look, and Grimmjow could tell that he knew it was a lie, but he didn’t ask more about it, or push for an answer. Grimmjow was thankful for that. So then it was movie time, and Grimmjow placed the whole meeting at the back of his mind, pretty much forgetting about it, for now.


	12. Relationship

“Grimm.”

“Hm?”

Grimmjow looked down for a bit. He was flipping through the various movies they could choose from for today’s horror movie, since Ulquiorra was apparently out of ideas at the moment, or more like using his phone to see if he could find a movie for them to watch. And while doing so, he had decided to lay down on the couch with his head on Grimmjow’s lap. This was not the first time he had done so, and even though this looked like it was going to become a habit, Grimmjow could still feel heat rise within him when the other decided to be that close and comfortable with him.

“What sort of relationship did we have, before I lost all my memories and powers and became human?”

Grimmjow paused and took a deep breath. “A complicated one.” He didn’t want to get into it.

“I suppose it was not a friendly one then, since you decided to describe the old me as ‘an asshole’.”

“Yeah… not very friendly. You weren’t exactly easy to get close to, in any sense of that word.” He should stop talking, he had already said enough, more than enough, maybe too much.

“So why did you decide to protect me then?”

Yeah, there it was, a question far too personal for Grimmjow to wish to answer. Their current relationship was already strange enough as it was. Ulquiorra was so comfortable around him, and so open, and Grimmjow was just falling deeper and deeper in love with him and at this point he was pretty sure he was not going to get rid of those feelings even if Ulquiorra returned to normal. He could pretty much hear Ulquiorra call him pathetic for feeling this for him. Oh man it hurt to think about.

“I don’t….” Grimmjow sighed, and that caused Ulquiorra to sit up on the couch.

“I suppose that is complicated too,” Ulquiorra said softly and Grimmjow nodded. “I’m not going to push you, so when, or if, you’re ready to tell me, then I’ll be here waiting and ready to listen.”

Fuck. He was too good to be real. Grimmjow looked over at him for a moment and allowed himself for just one second to imagine himself leaning closer to kiss him. Imagine what those lips would feel like, and of course, in his mind Ulquiorra happily returned the kiss.

“Found a movie for us,” Grimmjow said, changing the subject completely, and their focus was back on the tv, though through the whole movie all Grimmjow could think about was how to deal with the male sitting next to him. How the hell was he suppose to manage these feelings?


	13. Attacked

Grimmjow opened an eye slightly. Looks like he had fallen asleep while watching tv. Not the first time, though… why was it already dark? He quickly sat up and checked his phone. Fuck. Fuck!

Like every damn day he would go and escort Ulquiorra back home after work to make sure no hollows were nearby, since they apparently never appeared in the morning here so he was rather safe then. And, he has slept well past when he should have been there, in fact, Ulquiorra should have arrived home by now, but he hadn’t.

He had four messages on his phone. Two of them asking where Grimmjow was, the third saying that there was a hollow nearby… and the fourth telling him to hurry.

There was a hint of pain in his chest at that. He had really fucked up this time, hadn’t he? As quickly as he could he jumped out of his human body and went through the wall and dashed towards where Ulquiorra worked. No one here, of course now. But from here he should be able to get a sense of where there was a hollow… And yeah. He did sense a hollow, or he sense four of them.

“FUCK!” he called out in anger. Which one of them was he supposed to go after!? Which one of them could be after Ulquiorra?! He honestly wasn’t sure, but the longer he stood there unable to make a decision the worse the situation became.

So he decided to head for the one that was closest to him.

It didn’t even take him a minute to get to it, and took it completely by surprise as he rushed straight for it and kicked it’s mask into pieces, shattering the beast’s whole head in the process. Then he looked around. He couldn’t see anyone here.

“Ulquiorra?” he called. It might not be a very good idea to do so, but fuck, he needed to find him right now, so if anyone else heard him then screw them.

There was no one here, this was the wrong hollow. So he headed towards the one who was closest to him now. This fucker got killed just as quickly, it had been completely unaware of the attack so it had no time to react to him suddenly appearing.

“ULQUIORRA!?” He was getting desperate. No answer this time either. He moved around, started to look around to see if he could find him. Grimmjow tried calling again, but nothing. “Don’t do this to me,” he whined. Never had he been this scared or distressed before, he had never felt anything like this. This was far worse than the time Ulquiorra had been sick. This was 100 times worse.

He felt like he had been wasting his time going after the wrong hollows. Why did there have to be more than one on this one fucking night!?

With that he dashed towards the next one, hoping this would be the right one, and that he was not too late. He was moving as fast as he could, doing nothing to stay hidden or hide his presence, he had no time for that.

He saw the hollow, and it was holding a limp figure, and as he got closer he could see that it was Ulquiorra. Finally, the right hollow, but that did not calm him at all. Ulquiorra was either dead or unconscious, and neither was a good thing. Without slowing down he attacked the hollow, killing it before it even had the time to turn to look at him, and then as the large body fell to the ground, slowly turning into nothing, he snatched up Ulquiorra and held him close to himself.

“Hey, you okay? Ulquiorra? Answer me,” Grimmjow said and knelt down on the ground, Ulquiorra’s body on his lap as he took the time to see if he could figure out what sort of injuries he had.

Clearly there was a head injury as half his face was covered in blood, and his hair was sticky with it too. Fuuuuck. There were some minor scratches here and there, but it was that head injury he really needed to worry about, especially since he couldn’t get in touch with Ulquiorra.

There was nothing he could do to help him. Okay, Ulquiorra had told him what to do if there was an emergency. Call someone. Who was he to call again? Think Grimmjow, think!

He picked up Ulquiorra’s phone and stared at it. He knew the code to get into it, so that was not a problem, but what was the damn number he was to call. Then it clicked. 112.

He called it, but he couldn’t talk to them, unless the other person had the ability to communicate with spirits. So he would just have to hope that they would not think it was a joke or something. Sadly… things did not go as planned. The operator said “hello” several times, and tried to communicate, and Grimmjow tried to answer, but got no response. Fuck. Then they said something. “If you can’t talk, press 2.” Of course! These people would get calls from people who were in situations where talking would be difficult. Grimmjow pressed 2 and waited, glad his German had become a lot better over the months he had been here.

“If you need the police, could you press 1? If you need an ambulance, could you press 2-”

Grimmjow pressed 2 immediately.

“Okay. I have your location and I will send an ambulance immediately. If you’re injured, could you press 1-”

As before, he didn’t wait to hear the other options and he pressed 1 immediately.

“Where? Press a number once I have mentioned an area where you’re injured. Stomach? Chest? Head?-”

Grimmjow pressed one of the numbers.

“Okay, anywhere else? 1 for yes, and 2 for no.”

Grimmjow looked at Ulquiorra again and pressed 2.

“Are you bleeding? 1 for yes and-”

Grimmjow pressed 1. Then he heard sirens, and he found he was forced to place the phone down and Ulquiorra down too. It would be fucking weird if those people arrived here to see Ulquiorra kind of hovering over the ground, and something unseen communicate with the person on the phone.

So now he sat there, next to Ulquiorra and watched as the ambulance people rushed over to him and tried to get in touch with him. They were talking fast, too fast for him to really catch what they were saying, though he got that they were saying that he looked very pale, which caused him to snort, then of course they mentioned the head injury.

They got him into the car, and Grimmjow followed along. In the light inside of the car it was so much easier to see how badly injured he was. “Don’t die on me here,” Grimmjow whispered, though then again. If he was dead, there would be a spirit somewhere, that too if he was in a coma, but his spirit was still inside his body, so he wasn’t too far away from them. Remembering this calmed Grimmjow, but for all he knew it could get so much worse with time.

They reached the hospital and were greeted by doctors and nurses. They were rushing around, and doing things Grimmjow didn’t understand, and here were times when he was tempted to yell at them to back off, thinking they were treating him badly or being too hands on. He didn’t like anyone touching him, but he had to remember that they were the only ones who could help him right now. All he could do was watch.

Then Ulquiorra was placed in a bed, hooked up to a machine that appeared to be monitoring his heart, and there were needles placed in him. For some reason this all made him think of Szayel, which was not a good thing.

Then all he could do was wait. Now and then he had to leave since Ulquiorra had that old dog waiting at home, and he knew Ulquiorra would be upset if Grimmjow hadn’t remembered to give that dog food and water and taken her out now and then, but he did it all as quickly as he could and then returned to the hospital to stand guard by him, watching him constantly.

One day passed by, then another, and Grimmjow found himself more and more worried for him. “Wake up, Ulquiorra…” he whispered as he sat by his bed. No one came to visit him at any point, except the nurses who went to check on him every now and then. Yeah, Ulqui was a rather lonely guy, Grimmjow knew that, it really was only him who spent any time with Ulquiorra.

He reached out and gently touched Ulquiorra’s hand, only to feel it twitch a bit. Quickly he rose to his feet and stared at him. “Hey, you gonna wake up now?” he asked.

“You’re loud,” was the response. It was weak and his voice was hoarse, but hey, it was an answer.

Grimmjow couldn’t help himself. He let go of Ulquiorra’s hand and hugged him. “Finally. This place is so fucking boring without you.”

Ulquiorra only let out a low groan in response, he hadn’t even had the strength to respond to the hug, so Grimmjow figured he might need to rest for a bit, even though that was all he had been doing.

It took a few hours but then he opened his eyes again and Grimmjow jumped to his feet once more. “Planning to stay awake this time?”

“You’re like a dog,” Ulquiorra huffed and tried to sit up, but at that point a nurse appeared and told him to just lay down and take it easy.

Ulquiorra was awake for barely half an hour before he went back to sleep. Next time he woke up he appeared a bit better, and managed to stay awake for a few hours this time, even got something to eat and drink before going back to sleep. He was recovering fast, or so the nurses said. GOOD! Soon they would be out of here.

A day later and Ulquiorra was well enough to walk, but he was still a bit weak, though the next day he was well enough to return home, and Grimmjow was grinning the whole taxi ride back there. He got his Ulqui back. Fucking good. Now only if he could regain his ability to fight, then he would be able to worry less.


	14. Duo colored

Over the past week Ulquiorra had recovered well, but was not back to work yet, so Grimmjow got to spend even more time with him, which was both good and bad. Bad since these feelings were a lot to deal with, and with Ulquiorra constantly around him he had no time to just breath and just not focus on Ulquiorra. Thankfully tv and video games helped a bit with that. Good part was that he did really like being around Ulquiorra, and did miss him whenever he went to work.

“So, kids are going to be knocking on the door asking for candy the whole fucking evening?” Grimmjow sighed as he watched Ulquiorra in the kitchen. Apparently someone had decided to bake a cake… and the fucker had figured out that Grimmjow liked mint so it was a mind chocolate cake, and he was almost drooling at the thought of it.

“Yeah. They’ll ask ‘trick or treat’ and then you give them candy or else they might play a trick on you. Most kids don’t, but some can be real mean about it. It isn’t that bad here, but those living in houses instead of apartments has experienced some really uncomfortable things because of this. Like eggs being thrown at their house or toilet paper being spread all over their property.”

“So mostly just a kids thing then.”

“Not really. Teenagers and adults likes to use this day as an excuse to dress up in costumes and party or have horror movie marathons, like us.” Ulquiorra turned and smiled at Grimmjow. For fuck sake he needed to stop being so fucking pretty.

“Aw man, it sounds like it would have been fun to go to one of these parties and scare the crap out of the people there by making the place actually haunted,” Grimmjow smirked.

“Next year maybe. I’ll figure out if there is a party I can go to and you can come along and see how many people you can scare. It will be very amusing to watch,” Ulquiorra grinned.

Grimmjow’s heart skipped a beat at that. Fuck. Ulquiorra going along with this, and appearing to think it would be fun too, was just, almost too much. He had found himself stepping closer to the other, one hand placed under Ulquiorra’s chin to make him look up. Ulquiorra didn’t pull away, or try to stop him as he started to lean closer.

Then the doorbell rang and Grimmjow snapped out of whatever kind of trance he had been in and quickly stepped back, leaving Ulquiorra to return to the cake he was working on.

“I’ll just get the door,” Grimmjow said as he cleared his throat and walked out of the kitchen and snatched with him the bowl of candy as he walked over to the door and opened. “You guys are fucking early,” he said, in German even, as he looked at the five children that was standing there, completely ignoring the two parents that were with them who looked horrified by his language. “There you fucking go,” he added as he gave some candy to each of them and slammed the door shut and walked back to Ulquiorra who was doing his best to not start laughing. “What?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just… language like that is not normal to hear here, so hearing you talk like that in German is really funny, especially when it’s in front of children,” Ulquiorra said, still managing to hold back laughter.

“Honestly, I think the parents had a bigger problem with it than the kids did.”

Now Ulquiorra was laughing, and all Grimmjow could do was watch. Fuck sake this guy was going to be the death of him. Thankfully Ulquiorra calmed down rather quickly so that he could set the cake in the oven and now they just had to wait. While waiting Ulquiorra was making the frosting that was to be on the cake and Grimmjow was on the couch playing on his phone. Just needed a short Ulquiorra break since he really was like a drug to be around and he didn’t need to get even more addicted than he already was.

“We could just start a move and I’ll go and continue with the cake whenever that’s needed,” Ulquiorra said as he stepped out of the kitchen and placed two cans of beer on the table. Then he took a seat next to Grimmjow and started the movie they had picked out, which was The Exorcist. Another one of those classics Grimmjow apparently just had to watch.

The movie was rather slow, but he guessed that was to build suspense or whatever, not that he felt it. Eh. He preferred those that were rather gory rather than something like this, but he would watch.

At some point Ulquiorra got up and disappeared into the kitchen and suddenly the whole place really smelled like cake. The smell had been there for a while, but now he couldn’t ignore it. He had been about to get up when Ulquiorra returned.

“Just sit still, the cake isn’t completely done yet.”

So they continued to watch the movie for a bit longer. Okay, this was a bit creepy, but that was because children were creepy. Just like when they watched The Omen. The movie itself was only fun in the ways people died, but the kid in it was creepy since what the fuck was the deal with kids!? Why would people want those giggling little creepsters in their house!? He didn’t get it.

Then Ulquiorra got up again and this time he was away for a while, and when he returned he had two plates with him, and he had made sure to make Grimmjow’s slice extra big. Hell yes! He barely remembered to watch the movie as he wolfed it down, and then went for a second slice. At this point he was going to eat the whole thing tonight!

The movie was over, so they were planning to start the next one. “Okay, my turn to pick something?” Grimmjow asked and looked over at Ulquiorra. That’s when he noticed a change that had not been there earlier today.

“Yeah, pick whatever looks interesting to- is there something on my face?” Ulquiorra frowned slightly as he looked at Grimmjow.

“There is, but it’s something that is supposed to be there.”

Ulquiorra got up and walked into the bathroom and soon returned. “If anyone asks I can just say I am wearing lipstick or something. This feels right, but something is still missing, isn’t there?”

“Yeah… there is.”

Ulquiorra’s upper lip had turned black, like it was supposed to, but it really did not help Grimmjow’s situation as it only made him want to kiss him even more. He was very sure those lips had never looked as attractive as they did right now.


	15. Strange Behavior

So this place was most definitely getting colder and darker. The days felt a lot shorter now than they had before, and once again they had gone shopping to get some proper winter boots for Grimmjow. Apparently ‘snow’ could appear next month or in January. He had seen it on tv, and didn’t get the deal. In some movies they looked happy to see it, but it mostly just looked annoying. Frozen water, that’s what it was, so it would be fucking cold. Ugh. He didn’t like the cold.

He took a sip from his hot chocolate and made sure the blanket was wrapped around himself properly as he continued to watch tv. Earlier he had been to the gym, and yeah, it was cold as fuck out there, and he did not like it, so now he was just going to stay here and stay warm. Ulquiorra was at the store right now, so he got a small break from all the emotions he had to deal with in relations to him. It was so damn much right now. He could barely stay in the same room as him. On that note. Ulquiorra had been acting a bit weird these days too. Once he wouldn’t have noticed, but he was so ridiculously sensitive to everything Ulquiorra did now that he did notice how he appeared to be a bit distracted.

His attention turned towards the door when it opened and Ulquiorra returned to the apartment. “What did you get?” Grimmjow called out. He was not going to move unless he had to. It must be really cold outside since the short second he saw Ulquiorra before he disappeared into the kitchen he could see that his cheeks had a light pink tone. Cute as fuck. Better stay here then, he didn’t need to join him in the kitchen and then just stand there and stare at him since that’s what he was going to do.

“Dinner for the rest of the week,” Ulquiorra called back. “And some other things. Beer for instance.”

“Mind bringing me one when you get out here?” Grimmjow asked as he flipped through channels, trying to find something interesting since the war history program that had been on was over.

“Here.” Grimmjow looked up when Ulquiorra spoke and Grimmjow grinned at him before he took the beer.

“Thank. What’s this Christmas deal that is everywhere now?” Commercials everywhere, and stores were getting decorated. He guessed it had something to do with gifts, but beyond that he didn’t really get it.

“It’s a holiday, all you really need to know is that some celebrate it because of the religious aspect of it, others because it’s a nice and positive holiday and there’s plenty of gifts and good food.”

“Sooo, I should get you a gift then?” Grimmjow asked and looked over at Ulquiorra. Wait… was he blushing?

“Only if you want to,” Ulquiorra said and sent him a short look before looking away.

Yeah, he was still acting weird. He had kind of been like that since Halloween. Though he couldn’t really think what the hell this behavior meant, mainly since he couldn’t focus on decoding the way he was acting. He was far too busy getting distracted by the other to do so. He couldn’t think clearly when he was nearby, but when he was away he was just worried. Now and then he managed to fully relax, and that was just when Ulquiorra was in another room in the apartment or just down by the store, since it was close enough for Grimmjow to keep track on anyone with reiatsu who would be in that area.

“I’ll see if I can think of anything to get you,” Grimmjow shrugged, then froze, he didn’t exactly have money for that. Well, shit. He would just have to figure this out somehow then. “When is it you’re supposed to give the gift?”

“Uh?”

Grimmjow looked at him. The other was being weird again. “Gift. When am I supposed to give it to you?”

“24th December.”

So he still had time then… and maybe he would be able to figure out why Ulquiorra was being strange too in that time. For a moment he worried he might have done something wrong, that he was the reason why Ulquiorra was behaving like this.


	16. Kiss

Ulquiorra’s strange behaviour had just continued to get stranger and stranger as days passed. He would spend a lot of time either lost in his own world or just staring at Grimmjow, and Grimmjow found himself worried. Was he sick again? Human bodies were so fucking weak.

He hadn’t found the right moment to ask yet, but he was surely going to get to it once he himself managed to focus for more than a second while staring at him. Those bright green eyes, porcelain skin, and duo colored lips. He just couldn’t deal with it all. As the black had returned to Ulquiorra’s upper lip the temptation to kiss him had just become even stronger, even worse. There was nothing he could do to properly deal with this, except masturbate a couple of times a day, but fuck, that too left him frustrated since he wanted the real thing, not just his imagination, and his imagination wasn’t doing much for him anymore.

He had just been in the shower, and spent a lot more time in there than what was probably necessary, but fuck, he had just seen Ulquiorra half naked, and he had needed some time for himself. The idiot had decided to change while walking through the living room. For fuck sake, Ulquiorra, had that really been necessary?!

When he got out of the bathroom he found Ulquiorra on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket and frowning at his phone. “Something going on?” he asked as he decided to pretty much drop down next to him like a bag of potatoes, just immediately making himself comfortable there.

“One of the guys at work decided to ask me out on a date,” Ulquiorra replied without looking up from his phone.

Grimmjow froze, and for a second panic rushed through his body, then anger. Someone dared think they could take Ulquiorra from him!? Who was this fucker! He was going to kill this bastard! What angered him even more was the thought that whoever this dude was might have had similar thoughts that he himself had. If that fucker had dared undress Ulquiorra with his eyes then he was going to get fucking blinded! Grimmjow was going to rip his eyes out.

“Yeah? That’s why you’ve been acting weird?” Grimmjow asked, trying not to sound as bitter and upset as he was.

“No… wait. I’ve been acting weird?” Ulquiorra looked over at the other.

“Yeah, you’ve been kind of distant, and looking at me weird. Is it because of this guys? If you wanna date him, then do so,” he was pretty much growling as he spoke, his arms folded in front of his chest. Yeah, let me figure out who this motherfucker is and he’ll be dead. He’ll regret ever looking at Ulquiorra. 

Ulquiorra stared at Grimmjow for a moment, eyes wide. “I.. no. I found out today, and I told him I wasn’t interested. Are you jealous?”

“Why the fuck would I be jealous?” Grimmjow sent Ulquiorra a annoyed look, waiting for an answer, but he did not get a verbal response. Instead, Ulquiorra quickly moved forward and before Grimmjow knew it a pair of soft lips were pressed against his own. His response was immediate, and that was to kiss back, fingers tangled into dark hair as he kept Ulquiorra there, not wanting him to pull back. For how long had he been craving this? It had been about to drive him mad, but he was sure that this kiss alone was having the same effect. It felt so good, so much better than he had imagined. Those black and white lips were so freaking soft, and he just wanted this kiss to last forever.

But he knew it couldn’t. They shouldn’t be doing this in the first place.

They broke apart, Ulquiorra breathing a bit heavier now. Fuck he wanted to kiss him again, see if he could make him moan, kiss him until he was breathless and then-

“Fuck,” Grimmjow looked away. This was such a fucked up situation to be in. He hated it.

“What?”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not?”

Grimmjow took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Because the real you would never have done that. The real you would have mocked me for feeling anything for you. The real you… didn’t feel anything for anyone. You embodied emptiness… and you’re going to return back to that at some point.” Yeah, he was just going to tell him why, and his chest hurt like hell to voice those things.

Ulquiorra frowned. “I’m sorry.” There was a moment of silence. “But… the me that I am slowly returning to… is most likely not going to be the me you remember. Because I will remember what it was like to feel…”

“Doesn’t fucking mean you will actually feel something. You were a manipulative fuck, you know how emotions worked, you simply decided that your own were irrelevant and- I need to get out of here for a bit, excuse me.” He couldn’t deal with this. He really couldn’t take it anymore.

“Grimm-”

“SHUT UP!” he yelled and a second later he was out of his human body. He looked over at the other for a moment. It looked like he had hurt Ulquiorra. Fuck. Seeing him like that just caused the pain he felt to grow even stronger. He should probably have said something more, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t string together a real sentence, not with the mess of emotions that was going on in his mind. Instead, he left, returning to Hueco Mundo.


	17. Deal

How long was he able to stay away from Ulquiorra? Not long. He was gone for a couple of hours before he had to go back to the human world to make sure nothing happened to him. However, he did not return to his apartment, instead he stayed outside, and watched. In the morning he kept track of him when he went to work to make sure no hollow went for him, and he did the same in the evening.

It was boring as fuck to just watch from afar like this, but he really didn’t have much of a choice, now did he? If he stayed around Ulquiorra what he felt for him would only get stronger, and knowing that Ulquiorra returned those feelings just made it so much worse.

He let out a sigh and leaned back to look up at the stars. That was when he felt a presence, a very familiar one.

“You’re really far away from home, Kurosaki.”

“Well, I figured I should visit. I’ve heard you’ve been acting really strange lately. What’s up?”

Ugh, the dude was being far too friendly. “Don’t concern you, so fuck off.”

“You’re never in Hueco Mundo anymore. Well, I guess I can’t blame you, the human world is more interesting, don’t you think.”

“I just told you to fuck off, didn’t I?”

Ichigo smiled at the other, it was pissing Grimmjow off. “You’ve been seen with a human. A lot of people are very curious what’s going on here.”

“Tell them to mind their own business and leave me be.”

“Well, no one is planning to mess with you, grumpy cat, as long as you stay out of trouble, but we do wonder who this human is and why-”

“If anyone dares get close to him I will personally rip their throat out,” Grimmjow growled, his reiatsu spiked as a warning.

The smile on Ichigo’s face faded a bit, but he didn’t look upset or angry, just concerned, or as though he had just realized something. “He means a lot do you, don’t he? All right. I’ll tell the others there’s nothing to be concerned about, everything is fine here.”

“You better.”

Then Kurosaki left, though Grimmjow had a feeling he would return later on at some point. Well, whatever, he was going to continue keeping track of Ulquiorra to make sure he was okay.

For the first few days there were no hollows at all, then one appeared when Ulquiorra was on his way home from work and Grimmjow was quick to react. He jumped down from the roof he was on and immediately smashed the hollow’s head, which meant that he pretty much landed right in front of Ulquiorra.

“So you never really left,” Ulquiorra commented, he appeared to be relieved.

“I spent this much time keeping you alive, would have been stupid as fuck of me to just leave and let you fend for yourself now, wouldn’t it,” Grimmjow huffed, his hands in his pockets and he kicked at an imaginary stone. He couldn’t really get himself to look at Ulquiorra.

“No need to sulk. I understand that you’re worried how I will behave around you when I’ve regained more of who I used to be, but you stalking around like this is really not helping, it’s actually rather creepy.”

“Then what do you suggest I do?” Grimmjow snapped.

“Come back.”

Grimmjow barked out a laugh at that. “Yeah, because being around you is going to make things easier.”

“You running away like a coward isn’t making things easier either. We’ll figure out how to deal with this situation.”

Grimmjow growled, he did not like to be called a coward. “Fine, do you have a suggestion how we are to deal with this?!”

“We act on those feelings. If things change, then let them change.”

“The fuck kind of suggestion is that?!”

“Fine, okay. Whenever a new change happens to me, I will let you know if I’m still attracted to you, and then you decide when you wish to act on those feelings, or if you would rather nothing happen between us. Is that better?”

Grimmjow grumbled for a moment. “Fine. I’ll take that. Though with how slow you’re changing this is going to take fucking ages.”

Ulquiorra sighed and shook his head. “I have a feeling things are about to go a lot faster now.”

“Uh?” How the hell could he know that?

“It is simply a feeling, like something is coming.”

And Ulquiorra was right.


	18. Strength

It had been incredibly strange to return to Ulquiorra’s place after what had happened, and try to act normal, even though he so often thought about that kiss, and wanted it to happen again. This was like a living nightmare, and he just had to remind myself what Ulquiorra had been like once, what he was going to be like later on. Spending so much time wishing for something that wasn’t going to happen was a fucking waste.

However, he managed, somehow. Time passed, and before he knew it he had almost been here for a whole week and they had started to act kind of normal again.

“Yo, Ulqui, can you go and grab a beer for me?”

Ulquiorra sent him a look and threw a pillow in his face instead. “I am not your slave, do it yourself. You know where the fridge is.”

“Rude,” Grimmjow replied and threw it back at him, only to have it thrown in his face again. “Okay, you’re asking for it!”

Without warning he jumped at Ulquiorra and they both fell from the couch and landed on the floor. Grimmjow on top, holding him down. This was something he had done several times before, and honestly being far stronger than the other and watch him struggle to fight back was rather satisfying. Though, this time things didn’t turn out the way they usually would have. Grimmjow found himself flipped over and could not get Ulquiorra off. What the hell!

“When the hell did you get strong?!”

“Uh?” Ulquiorra got off of him and looked at him in confusion. “You didn’t let me win?”

“Fuck no,” Grimmjow said as he got to his feet. “Try to pick something up, something you weren’t able to befoRE- HEY, FUCK OFF! PUT ME DOWN FOR FUCK SAKE!”

Yeah, Ulquiorra had figured that he was going to pick Grimmjow up at that suggestion, and it appeared as though he had absolutely no problem with that. Thankfully he placed him down just as quickly as he had picked him up.

For a moment the two of them just stared at each other. Ulquiorra’s strength was back. He might not have been the physically strongest of all the Arrancars, but he had still been incredibly strong.

“Shit,” Grimmjow whispered.

“So… my strength is back? I suppose this is something I will have to get used to.”

Ulquiorra was right. They now spent quite a bit of time helping him adjust to this new change, but thankfully he adapted very quickly, as he simply had to remember how to use this strength rather than having to learn everything from a beginner level.

Well, this was certainly a bit step forward, and it made Grimmjow nervous. His appearance was returning, now his strength and then certainly his abilities too, then when would his memories be coming back to him?


	19. Traceable

It was strange to see these changes happen, to see Ulquiorra get this strong once more. However, he still didn’t have the combat skills he should have had, so this was really just the first step, and since he had no real protection he couldn’t use his full strength without risking damage to his body. Man, if only he could heal like he used to. Guess he would get there at some point.

It was December, and Ulquiorra’s birthday had just passed. Grimmjow had asked if he wanted to do anything about that day but Ulquiorra had just told him to act like nothing. Still not giving a fuck about that day was he. Something never changed, though Grimmjow now gave a much bigger fuck about it than he once had. Not that he knew what to do about it, so he decided to do nothing… this year. 

Then there was that whole Christmas ordeal that was coming up. There he would have to find a gift for Ulquiorra. Fuck. What the fuck was he supposed to give him!? He really had no freaking idea. 

He growled in annoyance and sat up on the couch. Later, he would have to figure out the answer later, since right now he had to go and fetch Ulquiorra from work, like usual. It was still so fucking weird to be back here, and though they acted normal, what had happened was still not forgotten. Grimmjow could feel Ulquiorra looking at him when he though Grimmjow wasn’t aware of his presence, and Grimmjow would still think about that kiss at least once a day.

All he could do was hope that this would either pass, or Ulquiorra’s feelings stayed the same, even when he was the Cuatro once more.

He got out of the human body and headed towards Ulquiorra’s workplace, and as he got closer he noticed something that caused him to pause. There was reiatsu there. Clearly it was hollow reiatsu, and so incredibly familiar, but it was weak, very weak.

He dashed forward, hoping he got to Ulquiorra before the hollow did, and when he landed in front of the building and saw Ulquiorra step out of it he realized that it wasn’t just a hollow he had sensed. It was Ulquiorra.

Grimmjow’s eyes widened a bit. This was Ulquiorra’s reiatsu, no fucking mistake about it, but it was so weak, barely the strength of a low level hollow. Though the fact that he could now trace him was both good for him, but also worrying. If Grimmjow could sense him, so could others.

“You okay there?” Ulquiorra asked as he paused in front of the other.

“Do you… feel any different?”

Ulquiorra tilted his head and frowned. “I suppose… Yes. Now that you mention it I do feel different from before… Though it feels natural, so I didn’t pay any attention to it, why?”

“Because I can sense you now. Reiatsu. Yours was once incredibly strong, but right now it’s weak. Everyone’s reiatsu is unique to themselves, so someone who knew your reiatsu well will be able to know that it’s you. And of course, more hollows will appear, and more shinigami…”

Ulquiorra sighed. “Sounds like things are about to become rather unpleasant.”

“Not if we can teach you to hide it.”

This all was making Grimmjow nervous. Ulquiorra couldn’t defend himself, and with his reiatsu flowing around here, someone might notice and figure out who he was. Fuck. FUCK.

“So let’s just get back home, get some food and we’ll start training immediately,” Grimmjow added.

“Sounds like a decent plan.”

It really was the only plan he could think of, and he hoped Ulquiorra was as quick to learn how to hide as he had been when it came to his strength.


	20. Out of body experience

As Grimmjow had hoped, Ulquiorra learned really quickly, so within a day he had figured out how to suppress his reiatsu and keep himself hidden. However, this had not happened soon enough for no one to notice. Now there was increased hollow activity here, and with that, more shinigamis. For fuck sake!

Soul Society was now very aware of Grimmjow’s presence in this area, and he could feel that whenever he was out of the Gigai they were watching him. It was annoying as fuck, but at least they kept their distance, so he guessed they didn’t know that Ulquiorra was here yet. Yet it really felt like it was only a matter of time now before they found out.

It was stressful, and Grimmjow was almost stuck in a state of constant worrying.

He let out a long sigh and stretched out on the couch before checking his phone to see what time it was. 4:28 AM. These days it was hard to sleep, too much going on inside his head. Well, might as well try to get to sleep for a while longer before giving up. So he closed his eyes.

“Grimmjow?”

He opened them again and groaned. “The fuck are you awake fo-” he turned and looked at Ulquiorra, then jumped to his feet.

Ulquiorra was standing by the couch, dressed in his Espada uniform. What. The. Fuck!? Okay, maybe he had fallen asleep and was dreaming. He reached out and tried to touch Ulquiorra, but his hand went straight through him, and then caused Ulquiorra to back off a bit.

“Don’t do that, it feels strange.”

“Yeah, this dream is fucking weird, I’ll just-” a pillow to the face, as Ulquiorra had picked it up and thrown it at him.

“Not a dream. I checked when I suddenly got up like this.”

Grimmjow stared at him for a moment and then quickly walked into Ulquiorra’s bedroom. Yeah, that’s Ulquiorra’s body laying in bed that’s for sure. He turned towards what appeared to be his spirit.

“Did you fucking die in your sleep or something?!” Grimmjow hissed. There was no chain attached to him… and no hollow mask. “Open your jacket.”

“Why?”

“Just fucking do it.”

Ulquiorra frowned at him and then zipped down his jacket. No hollow hole, no tattoo.

“I don’t think I’m dead, so don’t worry about that,” Ulquiorra said slowly and zipped his jacket up again.

“How so?”

“I can return to my body whenever I want. I tested it out before I decided to tell you about this.”

“And then you let me freak out over nothing!?” Grimmjow threw his hands up.

“It was kind of cute to watch you fret and worry, I will admit that.”

“Oh fuck off,” Grimmjow huffed and looked away.

There was a moment of silence before Ulquiorra spoke up again. “So this is what I used to wear?”

“Yeah. All Espada had a white uniform,” Grimmjow replied, only for Ulquiorra to raise an eyebrow. “I decided to change mine after the Espada was no more. I used to wear hakama too, and those boots. I prefer what I wear now much more.” With that he sat down on the couch and exited the gigai he had been in. Now that he looked at Ulquiorra once more he noticed something else that was missing. “You don’t have your zanpakuto.”

“My what?”

“Your sword. It’s tied to your powers. Guess you’re not strong enough for it yet.”

“I suppose it will return eventually… now… how do I change this uniform?”

Grimmjow rose an eyebrow. Holy shit, this was actually entertaining. “What’s wrong with it? You don’t like it? You even designed it yourself,” Grimmjow teased and stepped closer.

“Get any closer and I will kiss you.”

“That’s the worst threat I’ve heard,” he replied, but didn’t get any closer anyway. He did not need a reminder of what those black and white lips felt like, since he would just want them even more than he already did. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“The pants are too flowy, and too much white. I’m already pale I don’t need to look like a ghost in a blizzard.”

Grimmjow tried not to laugh. Oh boy, this really was funny. “Well, your outfit is part of your reiatsu, so you’ll have to focus on that area to make it change. Might take a while for you to really figure it out properly since you’ve barely got the hang of your reiatsu at this point.”

Ulquiorra sighed. “Okay, so the clothes are a part of me… that is just weird.”

“Wanna hear something even weirder? They’ll change into a new outfit when you go into your release form.”

“Release form?”

“You’ll figure out what that is eventually.” There was a short pause. “Though you look to really have gotten the hang of moving around in that body, you even threw a pillow at me earlier.”

“It came naturally to me. Should we go outside and-”

“Nope. You’re not going anywhere looking like that. That white uniform is going to get recognized immediately. Once you’ve changed your attire, then we can head outside.”

“Very well.” Ulquiorra closed his eyes and tried to focus, though nothing happened. “I don’t really know how to do this.”

“You’ll figure it out, just keep practicing.”


	21. New Outfit

Ulquiorra had spent pretty much the whole week trying to make his outfit change, but he just couldn’t get the hang of it. It was rather amusing to watch him struggle, though at the same time it meant that he could not practice using his spirit body outside of this apartment.

“Only a couple of days until Christmas now. You sure you don’t want a Christmas gift?” Ulquiorra said as he looked over at the other. 

“Cook me something nice and that’s enough,” Grimmjow replied. He had insisted the other not get him anything since he really didn’t want any sort of material goods. Grimmjow had wanted to get something for Ulquiorra however, but fuck, he couldn’t think of anything to get him, so he guessed he would just have to throw that idea aside. Next year, maybe.

“Well. I need to take a break from this. There is a Christmas market not far from here, want to go and have a look?”

“The fuck is a Christmas market?”

“A market filled with Christmas things? And food, plenty of food.”

“Okay we’ll go,” Grimmjow decided and got up from the couch. Food was the secret word, and he had a feeling Ulquiorra already knew that.

It was cold outside, but there had not been any snow yet. Apparently he would have to wait until January or February for that to happen. At this point it was not worth it, not when he had to deal with the cold. He did not like it.

They had to take the train to get to wherever this market was, and then there was a bit of walking. There was a lot of people out here, more than he would have expected. Then as they turned around a corner Grimmjow could see it. Well, that was so much fucker bigger than he had expected. He was pretty sure they could walk around here for hours and still not have seen everything.

The air smelled of food and alcohol, and Grimmjow just wanted to eat everything they had to offer. Thankfully Ulquiorra was nice enough to buy things for him so he got to try out various dishes and alcohol and some sort of warm drink called glühwein. It was strong, and not really his thing, but he was not going to pour it out.

Not only was there all sort of food, but there was so many other things too. Clothes, various objects, most of the Christmas related, and everything was hand made. They walked by wood carvers and painters and metal workers. It almost felt like a medieval market where everything was hand made. They even walked by glass blowers.

Now and then they would stop, either to look at some of the things for sale or just to watch someone work as these things were being made as they were there. It was incredible. Humans certainly had a very creative side, and knew how to make stuff.

He had no idea for how long they were there, but the whole time he was stuck somewhere between good food, mesmerizing views, and just looking at Ulquiorra. Watching him get curious about the objects or excited when he saw something he liked, or chuckle at some of Grimmjow’s comments. Now and then he reminded himself that the other had feelings for him too, and twice he almost stopped Ulquiorra to tell him that they could give it a chance, that they could see how it would work to be in a relationship together. But no, it was a bad idea. He had no idea just when Ulquiorra’s feelings would fade and he would be left with wounds that would probably never heal.

Eventually they had to head back home. The market was closing down for today and it was getting late.

“Does that stuff happen every year?” Grimmjow asked as they got onto the train.

“Every year all of December. You will find markets like these all over Germany,” Ulquiorra replied. “Want to go back there later on?”

“Hell yeah. The food was delicious.”

Ulquiorra chuckled. Then there was silence between them for the rest of the trip home. It was fine, they didn’t need to talk.

Once home the first thing Grimmjow noticed was how warm the apartment was, and it felt fucking good since the outside was so much colder now than before, even if he had forgotten about the cold for the most part since he had been so busy with everything else.

“I will give it one more try to get that outfit to change,” Ulquiorra said as he walked into the bedroom and soon returned in his spirit form. The dog was was constantly following him around did not appear to have been bothered at all by this. It was weird. Normally animals didn’t react too well to spirits, but this one didn’t give one single fuck. She would just look at either Grimmjow or Ulquiorra while they were in their spirit form and then lay down or go and do something else.

Honestly, that dog was rather chill. Grimmjow didn’t really like dogs, but this one he could deal with, even if he had to remember to make sure to check that she had water and go out with her whenever that was needed while Ulquiorra was at work.

“Any hopes you’ll manage to do it this time?” Grimmjow asked as he dropped down onto the couch and decided to watch Ulquiorra try to figure this out.

“Positive,” Ulquiorra said and closed his eyes.

For a moment he just stood there, clearly trying to focus. Then after a minute things started to change. [The outfit turned black, the pants tightened and were now inside of his boots, the coat stayed long though it didn’t have tails like it had before. It looked a lot more western.](https://imgur.com/a/yMUXQa1)

“Damn,” Grimmjow commented. Fuck, he looked hot. This was not okay. CHANGE BACK! CHANGE BACK!

Ulquiorra opened his eyes and looked down. “Much better. Is it now safe for me to go outside?”

“Uuuuh… Yeah. Yeah, sure,” Grimmjow said and scratched the back of his head. For fuck sake. This was really going to be the death of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The link is to a drawing I made of the new outfit Ulqui is wearing. My art isn't all that good, but I tried.


	22. New Years Eve

“I was thinking. We could sit on the roof and watch the fireworks,” Ulquiorra said.

The past week they had spend quite a bit of time moving around as spirits, and Ulquiorra had quickly remembered how to move and really had no problems, except when they met hollows, then he was still kind of useless. At this point Ulquiorra appeared to prefer his spirit form rather than his human form, which was very understandable.

“Sure,” Grimmjow shrugged. “Think Ulva will be fine on her own?” He looked over at the dog.

“She’s not scared of fireworks, so no worries.”

Well then. They left their bodies behind and went up onto the roof. Thankfully they would not be able to feel the cold, especially this high up. The apartment building was tall, however the building next to them was taller.

“Head up there instead, if you want the best possible view?” Grimmjow suggested.

“Good idea.” And Ulquiorra jumped up there with ease. He was almost invisible in the dark due to his new outfit. Grimmjow jumped up after him. From here they could see anything in every direction. He could see the lights from the city center from here and other large pockets of lights where a lot of people lived.

“It’ll start soon,” Ulquiorra said and sat down. Grimmjow decided to just stand next to him.

Silence. Both of them simply enjoying the view, and probably a bit lost in their own thoughts. Grimmjow found himself wondering what was going on inside Ulquiorra’s mind, what he was thinking… or feeling. How strong were the other’s feelings for him? Had they become stronger since he returned, or maybe they were fading. He didn’t want to ask, that there was a can of worms he refused to get close to.

The firework started. It was like they were surrounded by it. Grimmjow found himself mesmerized by the colors that flashed before him. The ones over the city center was especially strong.

Fireworks was something he knew of before he came here, he had seen and heard of it before, but never like this. This was stunning. He was not afraid to admit that it was gorgeous to watch.

But not as gorgeous as-

Not the time to think about that! Stupid feelings. Why couldn’t he be the emotionally numb one?! It would have made everything so much easier.

He had been so lost in the view and his own thought that he had not paid any attention at all to his surroundings, so when Ulquiorra suddenly moved he jumped a bit and turned towards him. What was going on?! His eyes had been on Ulquiorra, so he didn’t see what was attacking until the attacker moved forward, slashing a katana towards Ulquiorra. Well, fuck. He really must have been in vacation mode since he hadn’t noticed this fucker.

Grimmjow had just been about to dash forward and finish this idiot in one attack when he noticed Ulquiorra dodging with ease.

“You’re him, aren’t you?! You’re the cuatro!? Are you back to free Aizen?!”

Ulquiorra didn’t answer, instead he jumped over the other, his hands placed in his pockets, since clearly he didn’t need them to fight. The shinigami turned, but the fucker was clearly of low rank and now in experience, so his reaction was slow as hell. He didn’t have time to react before Ulquiorra kicked him in the face and sent him flying.

“Ouch… that hurt, “ Ulquiorra mumbled, yeah, still didn’t have a hierro. Grimmjow however found himself laughing. This was so surreal. Still feeling a bit dumb he hadn’t noticed the shinigami, but really, that dude’s reiatsu was so weak it was barely worth paying any attention to. Then it looked like Ulquiorra remembered how to fight, though he wasn’t as fast as he should be, and he was still not talking like Ulquiorra would, so this was… honestly just hilarious.

“Want me to finish him off or?” Grimmjow asked.

“Uh.. yeah. I don’t feel like strangling him to death or anything…”

Grimmjow stepped closer to the shinigami and just used bala to kill him. Well… the only thing to ruin the mood was the fact that this dude knew who Ulquiorra was… and he was probably not going to be the last to come for him. Shit.

He looked up. The fireworks were still going, but some of the beauty that had been there before was lost now…


	23. Warning

Ulquiorra’s combat abilities were truly back, but his speed was not, so he was like a much slower Ulquiorra right now, which did allow Grimmjow to study how he moved a lot better. The dude was a lot more flexible and agile than he remembered, and the footwork was incredible too. He was moving so precisely, using just as much energy as he needed to use, never more. He did not go all out unless he felt he had to. Really, with his fighting style, now that he thought of it, he was going for a quick defeat without using more energy than necessary, just slowly tuning how much energy he used so that he was a bit stronger than his opponent. That was honestly such a mindfuck. With that you could never really fucking tell how strong he was. Since he never showed off, or went all out.

Ulquiorra was at work and Grimmjow had decided he wanted to sit outside this once. Apparently it was supposed to snow today, and he wanted to see that, but for now it hadn’t. When he had been outside in his gigai all he could tell was that it was very cold, and the ground was a bit slippery since it had been raining a bit the day before, and now it was below freezing.

“Enjoying the view?”

Grimmjow turned and saw Urahara sanding behind him.

“What the fuck do you want now?”

“Oh, my. How rude. I thought you would enjoy a bit of company,” Urahara replied, most of his face hidden behind his fan.

“Not by you.”

“I’m hurt.”

“Right…”

Silence. Then Urahara decided to get closer and sat down next to Grimmjow. No one talked for a while, but then Urahara decided to speak up.

“There’s rumours going around.”

Grimmjow let out a long sigh. He could see where this were going, and yeah, he had figured that soon enough, someone was going to notice that there was something abnormal about the human he was spending so much time with.

“Yeah?” Grimmjow replied, acting like he didn’t give a damn.

“People are talking about another Espada having returned. Soul Society is a bit worried now, since if one returns, will the rest do so too?”

“The Espada is fucking gone. Tell them that. Only lone Arrancars walking around. The Espada was the elite made by Aizen, with no Aizen, there is no Espada. Do you really fucking thing any of us would just come together without him there? No, it would not fucking happen.”

“That might be true, but you can’t blame them for getting worries that one of Aizen’s strong, and loyal, Arrancars might have returned.”

“They got nothing to fucking worry about,” Grimmjow hissed. He was getting annoyed.

“You will have to go and tell them that then, since they are moving to see if these rumors are true.”

“Fuck if I’m going to them. No. Not fucking happening. If any of them comes for us, then I will take them out,” Grimmjow growled, he was getting really mad now.

“Ooooh, good idea. Violence usually solves these issues.”

Now that fucker was mocking him. He was about to yell a reply to him when Urahara suddenly got up and waved a goodbye. Just was quickly as he had arrived, he disappeared, though he got why he had come here. Soul society was getting suspicious. That was not good, far from it. Now all he could do was hope that no one strong came by, and that Ulquiorra regained his powers as quickly as fucking possible so that he would be able to defend himself.


	24. Speed

More Shinigamis did appear, and it was making Grimmjow very uneasy. But that didn’t stop him from training together with Ulquiorra. They just… had to do their best to stay out of their sight, and the times they got a bit too close Grimmjow would approach them and tell them to fuck off.

“Why are so many of them appearing?” Ulquiorra asked as he looked out of the living room window. They could clearly see, and sense, three shinigamis from here.

“They are fucking scared, that’s why,” Grimmjow groaned. He might have to chase those fuckers away too.

“Was I that much of a threat to them?”

“Yeah.”

Ulquiorra said nothing, instead he disappeared into the kitchen to get something to eat. They were going to head out to do a bit of training later. For now, they just needed to wait for Ulquiorra to eat something, and for those shinigamis to move.

It didn’t take long for Ulqui to finish eating, so while waiting he curled up on the couch to watch tv, and idly pet the dog. Grimmjow only looked at them for a moment before looking away. Yeah, he was getting jealous of the attention the dog was getting. He wanted to cuddle up with Ulqui, or have Ulqui play with his hair or just something, but he knew he couldn’t do that. It was a fucking bad idea to get too close to him, even if Ulquiorra had confessed to him well over a month back. Maybe those feelings had disappeared. Maybe he didn’t feel the same anymore. It would be a incredibly dumb thing of him to act on what he felt.

Nothing was said between the two of them. Grimmjow kept his gaze turned towards the window as he waited for those bastards to get the fuck out of here. He could feel Ulquiorra look over at him now and then… maybe he wanted to say something to him, or just checking if there was any new development. In his mind Grimmjow imagined himself turning towards Ulquiorra only to be kissed by him. Those lips had felt so fucking good, he wanted to feel them again.

The shinigamis moved.

“Okay, ready to do some training?” Grimmjow asked as he stepped out of the gigai and turned towards Ulquiorra, who had too, stepped out of his human body.

“Yes.”

They left the apartment and went to the park that was nearby. Ulquiorra’s moves were still good, like they should be. Had it not been for how slow he was then he would have been the nightmare to fight against as he once had.

“Come on… you’re moving like a fucking slug,” Grimmjow teased and easily dodged a kick.

“Shut it,” Ulquiorra replied. He didn’t have the stamina he should either as he was already breathing heavily.

Grimmjow just laughed. “Aw. Show me what you got, Ulqui. It’s like your moving in slow mo-” he stumbled back as Ulquiorra’s fist had collided with his cheek. He hadn’t seen that coming.

He hadn’t seen it.

“I’m so sorry!”

Grimmjow turned back to look at the other. “Try again.”

Ulquiorra moved, and he was fast. So fucking fast. He wasn’t holding back, like he normally would have. Normal Ulquiorra would only move a bit faster than his opponent, only use a bit more energy than the one he was fighting. This Ulquiorra had yet to remember his old fighting style properly, at least this part, so he was going at full speed.

“What’s wrong?” Ulquiorra asked.

“I can’t keep up with you.”

Ulquiorra’s eyes widened. “You… weren’t going slower on purpose?”

“No. I wasn’t. You just regained that annoying speed of yours.”

Yet another step towards him returning to his old self.


	25. Forgotten enemy

Snow was covering the ground now, and it had been like that for a few days, and apparently it was going to be staying for a while longer. At first Grimmjow had been kind of excited about it, until he realized just how fucking cold and slippery it was! Fuck it, he was staying inside where it was warm and comfy. Sadly, he did need to leave now and then, either to train with Ulquiorra or just because staying inside constantly was not something he really liked doing.

“Ready to get your ass beat?” Ulquiorra asked with a smile. Fucking hell he was cute.

“We’ll see about that,” Grimmjow replied.

Both of them left the apartment, and their physical bodies behind, and headed to the park where they could train without there being much of an issue. The other day there had been a hollow, which Ulquiorra had taken care of, or tried to. He had the speed and strength, but lacked the hierro and stamina, but he was sure that would return soon enough too, he was sure of that.

They had barely started to fight when Grimmjow suddenly paused, earning him a kick that landed right on his cheekbone and knocked him back.

“Um… you okay?” Ulquiorra asked, clearly confused why Grimmjow had allowed for that to happen.

“Fucking fine, just get behind me.”

What the fuck was he doing here?!

Ulquiorra did as he was told as Grimmjow turned towards where he could feel that reiatsu, and soon enough that annoying ginger stepped forward. He walked right over to the two of them, Grimmjow making sure to perfectly shield Ulquiorra from Ichigo’s view.

“Grimmjow… I can sense him. Hiding him isn’t exactly working,” Ichigo sighed and scratched his head.

Grimmjow growled. “The fuck do you want? Planning to kill him again?” He could feel hands grip the back of his jacket. Yeah, he hadn’t told Ulquiorra about that.

Ichigo frowned. “No… I… I just wanted to see if it was true. That Ulquiorra was really back. There are rumors floating around that he lives again, and I figured it would be here, since you’re suddenly here, and has been here for months now without going back to Hueco Mundo.”

Grimmjow just growled at him in response. He didn’t have anything he could say to defend himself, and punching Ichigo was just pointless right now, he had to keep his focus on protecting Ulquiorra.

Ichigo smiled slightly. “I never thought I would see you care this much for someone.”

“Fuck off,” Grimmjow barked.

Ichigo’s gaze shifted slightly and Grimmjow could see his eyes widen. He quickly turned his head to see that Ulquiorra had stepped to the side, no longer hiding behind his back.

“The fuck are you doing?” Grimmjow hissed, and Ulquiorra ignored him. For fuck sake!

“Who are you?” Ulquiorra asked, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at Ichigo. “You’re the one who killed me?”

Ichigo huffed, clearly not sure what to make of this, and Grimmjow was willing to bet that Ichigo wasn’t completely buying Ulquiorra’s behavior right now.

“Kurosaki Ichigo… and yes… I did.”

Ulquiorra frowned and looked over at Grimmjow then back at Ichigo.

“Why?”

Ichigo groaned and scratched the back of his head. “That’s a really long stor-”

“You’ll remember soon enough,” Grimmjow interrupted, his voice low, but it stopped the conversation that had just started between the other two.

“You… seriously don’t remember anything?” Ichigo asked, and Ulquiorra shook his head. “But you do have a spirit form.”

“I gained it a while back. Just regained some of my fighting abilities too, but something is lacking… I just don’t know what.”

“So… slowly returning back to normal.”

Grimmjow could hear the concern in Ichigo’s voice and took a step forward. “He is not going to be a danger, so just fuck off.”

Ichigo frowned slightly and took a few steps back. “If you say so. I’ll see you guys later.” Fuck… so he was planning to return to check up on them now!? This was bad.

The two of them watched Ichigo leave, and only once Grimmjow was sure he was gone did he lower his shoulders and sigh.

“Do you really think I’m not going to be a danger, or did you just say that to make him leave?” Ulquiorra asked.

“I don’t know…” he really didn’t. He had no idea how Ulquiorra would evolve, how he would change as he regained powers and memories.

“Does it frighten you?”

Grimmjow looked towards him. “The fuck. No it doesn’t,” he scoffed. It did. He had very little solid ground to hold on to, and felt like he was just taking one leap of faith after another.

Ulquiorra stepped closer to him and reached up for him. Grimmjow knew he should back away, but he didn’t, so he allowed Ulquiorra’s hand to be placed at the back of his neck. This was bad, he knew what the other was going to do, and he knew he shouldn’t allow it. He really shouldn’t!

Slowly he was getting pulled down to Ulquiorra’s level, and he found himself closing his eyes on the way. A soft pair of lips gently pressed against his own. It felt so fucking good. He had missed those lips so much it almost hurt. When Ulquiorra pulled away Grimmjow let out a shaky sigh.

“Don’t do that,” he whispered and looked at the former Cuatro. “You’ll regret this once you really start to remember.”

“And if I don’t?”

“This is not a risk I want to take.”

Ulquiorra nodded. “Fine. Just know that my feelings for you has not changed.”

No… not for now at least.


	26. Markings

“Grimmjow, can you come over here for a moment.”

Grimmjow looked up when Ulquiorra called for him. He had been sitting on the floor petting Ulva for a while now. This had to be the only dog he genuinely liked. She was so chill, no issues ever, so taking care of her was not a problem. And she was well trained. He guessed he had Ulquiorra to thank for that.

“Sure.”

He got to his feet and walked into the bathroom where Ulquiorra was. The other had just been in the shower, so when he entered the bathroom he found the other only wearing a towel. Oh not this again. He shifted a bit, and did his best not to study the other’s body. Fuck he wanted to touch him so bad.

“Grimm….”

“Uh?” Grimmjow blinked and his attention turned to Ulquiorra’s face, and he almost had to take a step back.

The green marks that ran from his eyes and down to his jawline was back. That in addition to the very unimpressed look he was giving him right now just made him look exactly like the Cuatro he had once known.

“My face is up here,” Ulquiorra said with a hand gesture. Aaaand Grimmjow was reminded that this was still a very human Ulquiorra.

“I know…”

“Good. I think my appearance is close to what it should be, but… there is just something else missing… I can’t really figure out what…” Ulquiorra turned to stare at his reflection again, and at one point he touched the area where his hollow hole should be.

“Yeah, you’re missing your hollow mask, hollow hole, and tattoo,” Grimmjow said, figuring he might as well just let him know.

“Hollow mask?” Ulquiorra looked back at him again.

“The bone part I have on the side of my face while in my normal form, that’s my hollow mask, it’s what’s left of the mask that covered our face when we were a normal hollow. Yours was on your head,” Grimmjow explained.

“I see. I did not know we were supposed to have hollow holes too,” Ulquiorra said.

“Yeah, we do. Mine’s through my stomach, but you can’t really see it in the clothes I normally wear,” Grimmjow shrugged. “Yours is through your sternum, you touched the spot just seconds ago.”

“I see… and the tattoo?”

“A four on your chest. It’s your rank. I have the number six.”

Ulquiorra hummed and took a step away from the mirror. “My rank was higher than yours? Does that mean that I will be stronger than you once I’ve regained all my powers?”

“I don’t know. You were pretty fucking strong, but it’s been years, and I’ve grown a lot since then. Never really got how the ranking system worked, so we’ll see.”

He was confident he had reached Ulquiorra’s level now… or at least the level he had thought Ulquiorra was at. Then again, what had that intense energy he had felt during that fight been? It had been Ulquiorra, but it was unlike anything he had felt before. Maybe he would get some answers now. Only time would tell.


	27. Stamina

“Get up,” Ulquiorra said with a slight smirk.

“I’ll beat that cocky attitude out of you,” Grimmjow replied with a groan as he got to his feet again. Ulquiorra was strong, and fast, but because he still lacked hierro Grimmjow could tell he was holding back to not harm himself.

“I’d like to see you try.”

Grimmjow didn’t respond, instead he dashed towards Ulquiorra, who dodged him with ease, even when Grimmjow quickly turned and tried to attack again since he was anticipating that dodge did Ulquiorra manage to get away.

Judging by their previous play fights Ulquiorra should start to get tired and slow down soon, so Grimmjow decided to be a bit more careful with how rough he was being. He went after the other once more, only to have Ulquiorra skip over him like he was nothing. Grimmjow turned, and kept chasing after him, but was really holding back whenever he attacked.

“What’s the problem, getting tired?” Ulquiorra asked.

Grimmjow paused and looked at him. Ulquiorra wasn’t even breathing hard. It was as though they had just started.

“No… but you would normally be tired by now.”

“I don’t feel tired.”

Grimmjow smirked. “Look at that, your stamina is back.”

Had his goal been to beat Ulquiorra then this would have angered him. With each thing he gained, he knew Ulquiorra would slowly get back to his level, and become tougher and tougher to fight. Once upon a time he would have tried to beat him, to show dominance over him, but now… he didn’t care, he just wanted Ulquiorra back on his feet and capable of protecting himself. Once his hierro was back, then he would no longer really need Grimmjow’s protection, especially not against weaker hollows. It was going to be a relief when they finally got there.

“I… I suppose you’re right,” Ulquiorra said. He hadn’t noticed.

Grimmjow decided to try to catch him off guard by attacking once more, but Ulquiorra managed to slip away this time too.

Again he attacked, and again. He was growing tired, but he was not giving up just yet. Right now his goal was to reach Ulquiorra at least once. ONCE he wanted to be able to catch that sneaky fucker who had pretty much just spent the entire time dodging him.

He kept trying, over and over again, and now and then Ulquiorra had the balls to taunt him. Oh he was going to show him what he was made of… without using his release form. He grinned at the thought of surprising Ulquiorra with that form, but if he used it here he would attract too much attention. So instead he would have to try to catch the other off guard.

An opening, he just needed an opening.

Then he saw it.

He managed to move in the same direction as Ulquiorra did when he dodged and before Ulquiorra could place his feet on the ground Grimmjow managed to trip him, making him lose his balance and fall on his back, with Grimmjow on top of him.

“Not so cocky now are you?” Grimmjow grinned. He was panting heavily now. Man, for once this had actually been a work out for him.

“You finally managed to catch me,” Ulquiorra sighed. He was clearly a bit tired too, with the way his chest was moving with every breath he took.

“Yeah…” the grin disappeared from Grimmjow’s face as he continued to stare down at this beautiful person laying underneath him. How often had he not imagined and thought of what it would be like to have Ulquiorra underneath him like this?

He pulled back and got to his feet, the joy of all of this gone as he was reminded that this was just another step towards Ulquiorra returning to the person he had once been. That cold and arrogant fucker he had once known.

“What’s wrong?”

Grimmjow sent Ulquiorra a short look. The other was looking at him with concern clear in his eyes.

_One day you’ll stop looking at me with that care, and instead stare at me coldly._

“Nothing, just tired.”

“You’re lying.”

Grimmjow growled and ran a hand down his face, only to freeze up when he felt Ulquiorra’s slim fingers wrap around the wrist of his other hand.

“Talk to me.”

Grimmjow groaned and looked at the other for just one second before he had to look away. “I’d rather not.”

“You’re still afraid of what you think I’ll become?”

“What I know you’ll become,” Grimmjow corrected.

“How can you know that!? How can you know that I will be exactly who I had once been!? I have new experiences now. I’m not static, like anyone else I will also evolve and change. The moment I remember who I am everything I have experienced and felt up until now is not going to get erased from my mind.”

Grimmjow watched the other as he was close to yelling now. He had never heard Ulquiorra this way. His throat felt right, he wanted to yell back, but he didn’t, instead he just kept staring at the former Cuatro.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s like your mourning a loss that has yet to happen, that might not happen at all,” Ulquiorra sighed, visibly frustrated.

He was… he hadn’t fully realized it, but he was.


	28. Valentines Day

“What’s this Valentine’s Day crap that has been everywhere for weeks?” Grimmjow huffed as they passed by another store that advertises for a ‘special Valentine’s deal’.

“It’s a commercialized day where you’re supposed to buy your boyfriend or girlfriend gifts and go out on a date. It’s supposed to be a romantic day, but…” Ulquiorra ended that sentence by gesturing around them.

They were in a shopping street right now, and around them it really was commercials for this day everywhere. Lower prices, special deals. It really was at Christmas levels when it came to this.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re a fan,” Grimmjow commented.

“It’s mildly annoying,” he replied with a shrug.

Well, it was a day dedicated to couples… and the two of them was stuck in a situation where they both had feelings for each other but Grimmjow refused to do anything about it, leaving Ulquiorra in a rather shitty position. He knew that much, so he supposed this day had every right to make him a bit bitter.

Grimmjow would have loved to do something with him today, be a proper couple… he would have loved for the two of them to be together, but he was constantly reminding himself of what Ulquiorra was going to become one day. He was not going to stay like this forever… but…

Grimmjow groaned and ran a hand down his face, causing Ulquiorra to look up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“We can have our own Valentine’s date at home, right?” Grimmjow found himself saying. This was fucking dumb of him to say, he knew that, he knew he shouldn’t suggest that, he knew he shouldn’t give neither himself nor Ulquiorra hope that a relationship would work.

Despite all of that, he still suggested them doing that… it was so hard to resist, so hard to constantly have to be around him and know what Ulquiorra felt for him. It was downright painful, so it couldn’t hurt to give in for just a little bit.

Ulquiorra stopped and stared at him. “Are you suggesting we have a romantic evening together?” he asked slowly, clearly unsure if that was exactly what Grimmjow had meant.

“Yeah… I mean… one evening couldn’t hurt, right?” Grimmjow huffed and looked away as he said that before looking back at Ulquiorra.

“I suppose not.”

For a moment the two of them just stood there and stared at each other. So, they were sort of going to have a date? He had seen how dates worked in movies and on tv, but he had also realized that what was on tv rarely reflected reality.

“So… how would this work?” Grimmjow asked. “I haven’t exactly been on a date before.”

“Neither have I,” Ulquiorra replied.

“Well, fuck.”

Ulquiorra chuckled at that response. Oh come on, don’t be cute now, this whole situation was already making his chest feel incredibly weird. One of these days the former Cuatro was really going to be the death of him.

“But… I know what a date is supposed to be like,” Ulquiorra slowly added

“Good, since all I know is what I’ve seen on TV.”

“Some of that is pretty close to what it’s actually like on tv.”

“Sooo… How are we doing this?”

Ulquiorra smiled. “Normally it would start by surprising the other with the date, so I’m not going to tell you.” 

Grimmjow huffed. Just be like that then. “It’s going to be hard for you to surprise me since we live together, I’ll be there the whole-”

“Nope, you’re wrong. Since I’m heading back right now, and you can walk around here until I tell you that you can return,” Ulquiorra decided and quickly turned and started to walk away, leaving Grimmjow to just stand there and stare at him. This was certainly one way of doing it.

Well, with that he continued to just walk around, going into a couple of stores just to waste time. He did have some money, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to waste it on any of this junk. Until he stopped by an advertisement that said “surprise your special one with a special gift.”

Surprise.

That’s what Ulquiorra had said. Part of this whole date was to surprise the other with something. Ulquiorra was clearly planning to make dinner, but Grimmjow had nothing to give in return. Maybe he should get something. He smirked. Good idea, he should get Ulquiorra something! But what the FUCK should he get him. With that, the smirk faded away.

Now with a goal in mind he continued on down the street, scanning the stores that were on either side of the street. What could he get Ulquiorra?! Clothes was a no. He didn’t wear jewelry so that would be dumb to get him.

“Fuck I’m bad at this,” Grimmjow growled, his hands deep in his pockets as he continued down the street. No idea, he really had no idea what to get him, and looking around at the stores that were here didn’t give him any ideas or inspiration.

For a moment he paused, he truly had no fucking idea what he could give Ulquiorra. There were a few things he knew he could give, but giving him anything like that would really make it look like they were about to become a couple, which they are NOT. He shouldn’t be going all out on this. Hopefully Ulquiorra didn’t go all out either. Fuck, what if he did?

WHAT THE HELL HAD HE GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO?!

Worst part was that he had suggested this, so this was his own fucking fault. Fuck. FUCK.

He kept going, and eventually he did find something that would contribute to the date, and just in time too since Ulquiorra sent him a message telling him that he could return home now. Grimmjow stared at his phone for a few seconds longer. His chest felt weird, and part of him didn’t want to return. He was not ready for this, but after a bit of hesitation he turned and headed home.

It felt like it only took him a few minutes to get back to the apartment. Now he stood there, staring at the door, hesitating to open the door and walk inside knowing what was waiting for him. He could run away, he could turn and leave, but… no, he was not going to hurt Ulquiorra like that. There was no way he could, just the thought of doing so was painful.

With a deep breath he placed his hand on the door handle and slowly pushed the door open. The first thing he noticed was that something smelled delicious, then there was the dim lights. Like Ulquiorra had been trying to create a mood, and he certainly had managed to. The lamps in the ceiling was off, and instead there were lots of tiny lights hanging along the walls, and the ceiling, making it look like there were overgrown fireflies here. There were also candles on each and every damn table he could see from here.

“There you are. Dinner is ready,” Ulquiorra said as he appeared a moment later. Green eyes glowing slightly because of the low amount of lights around them.

Grimmjow couldn’t think of a intelligent response, so he just stood there and stared at him. He looked like he had put some effort into his appearance. Dark shirt, dark jeans, his hair was not the usual mess. He looked handsome, more so than he usually did, and that was a huge problem.

“Grimm?”

“Uh. Yeah. You just… Um…” should he even be thinking of complimenting him right now?

Ulquiorra only smiled and walked away, towards the dinner table. Grimmjow removed his shoes and jacket and walked after him.

Yeah, the dinner table was set, and Ulquiorra had apparently decided to make filet mignon, and just the smell and sight of it was making Grimmjow’s mouth water. The green eyed bastard had known exactly what to make.

“I bought this,” Grimmjow said, and lifted the bag he was holding, and let Ulquiorra take it.

“I didn’t expect you to buy anything,” Ulquiorra said and beamed at Grimmjow. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He could feel his cheeks heat up, and right now he was glad the lights were dim so that it wouldn’t show as well. Ulquiorra picked up the object in the bag. “Wine. Classy,” he smiled.

“Yeah.. figured it might be more fitting than vodka,” Grimmjow mumbled and looked away.

Ulquiorra placed the wine bottle on the table. “Take a seat, I’ll be right back,” he said and disappeared into the kitchen. Ulquiorra soon returned with two wine glasses, and opened the bottle Grimmjow had brought and poured the wine into the two glasses before he took a seat across the table. “You look nervous.”

“Shut up,” Grimmjow huffed. Yes, he was nervous, this was so strange, and he had no idea really how to deal with this.

They started to eat, and the food was fucking delicious. The wine was good too. Ulquiorra completely ignored Grimmjow’s slightly awkward behavior, and eventually he managed to act normal. This was actually really nice.

Man Ulquiorra was going to look back on this day and really question what the two of them had been doing, especially his own behavior, when he returned to normal.

“What’s that smell?” Grimmjow asked. Something else smelled really good, and it was coming from the kitchen.

“Apple pie.”

“You’ve really been hard at work here,” Grimmjow said and took a sip from his soon to be empty wine glass. Half the wine bottle was gone now, and Grimmjow was sure they would manage to drink it all as he reached out to fill his own glass, and Ulquiorra’s.

“You know I put effort into everything I do.”

“Yeah, that’s one thing that has never changed.” Ulquiorra never did something half assed, he always went all in.

Grimmjow watched Ulquiorra get to his feet and picked up their plates and headed towards the kitchen. He had almost reached out for him, wanting to stop him for just a moment. Why? He wasn’t entirely sure, he guess he just wanted to touch him.

It only took a couple of minutes for Ulquiorra to return, now with two new plates and placed one in front of Grimmjow before taking a seat once more. Apple pie with vanilla ice cream. It smelled delicious and Grimmjow did not waste any time before digging into it. The ice cream thankfully preventing him from burning his mouth.

Grimmjow pretty much wolfed it all down, and when he was done he realized that Ulquiorra was doing his best not to laugh at him. Fucker was being cute again. DAMN IT! He just wanted to lean over the table and kiss those lips while he was still smiling. Now that thought was added to things he would really like doing, kiss Ulquiorra and feel that he was still smiling. FUCK. This date was really the worst idea he had ever had.

“There’s more pie in the kitchen if you want more,” Ulquiorra said. He was taking his sweet time with his own slice.

“Yeah.” Grimmjow took his plate and quickly walked into the kitchen. There he took a moment to just calm himself. The date, the alcohol, the atmosphere… it was so fucking much. “Calm the fuck down,” he whispered to himself and decided to take another big slice from the pie and walk back to the table and took a seat again.

Ulquiorra had finished his slice of pie and was clearly not planning to go for another one, so now he was just sitting there watching Grimmjow.

“You’re allowed to save some of that pie for tomorrow,” Ulquiorra chuckled.

“Yeah, don’t think I’ll be able to eat more than this,” Grimmjow replied with his mouth full. It didn’t take him long to finish this piece. “Now what?” he asked. What were they supposed to do once the food was eaten.

“I suggest we take our wine and move over to the couch,” Ulquiorra said and rose to his feet. Grimmjow followed his example. “I honestly did not expect you to suggest something like this, not with how you’ve been doing everything you can to pretend like there is absolutely nothing going on between us.”

“There’s nothing going on between us,” Grimmjow huffed.

“Keep telling yourself that.” Ulquiorra sounded amused by this. It was like he knew that Grimmjow wasn’t going to be able to resist for much longer, so he was just waiting for Grimmjow to give in. Something about this reminded him so much about the Ulquiorra he had once been. That arrogance.

“I fucking will,” Grimmjow hissed. Ulquiorra only looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He did not believe him. Grimmjow growled and reached out to grab the front of Ulquiorra’s shirt. “There is nothing…” he couldn’t finish the sentence. Who the fuck was he trying to fool? He was not fooling Ulquiorra, and he was not fooling himself. Saying that there was nothing going on here over and over again wasn’t going to make it true. “Fuck you,” he hissed, more angry at himself than Ulquiorra, and pulled him into a kiss. This was the third kiss they had shared, and he was pretty sure that he was right by his breaking point now. He wasn’t sure for how much longer he could go on like this, keeping those feelings at a distance.

He could feel a hand at the back of his neck, keeping him there in that kiss. Those soft lips pressed against his own. He wanted to taste them, he wanted to-

He pulled back. This was going to far, he was letting this go too far. He let out a frustrated groan and leaned back against the couch.

“Perhaps it’s time for bed, you look like you’ve got a lot to think about right now,” Ulquiorra said and got to his feet.

“Yeah… sounds like a good plan,” Grimmjow decided to agree.

What the hell was he supposed to do with this? Should he give in? Ulquiorra wanted him, so it wasn’t as though he had to work to win him over. But the risk of doing so… he needed some time to think, really think about this. There had to be a better way for him to manage this.


	29. Made of Steel

“Come on, you can do better than this!” Ulquiorra taunted and evaded Grimmjow’s attack with ease.

Oh he was getting so annoying to fight against, but this was really the only time he could properly deal with Ulquiorra. If they weren’t fighting, he was allowed to think, and the only thing on his mind was Ulquiorra. He wanted the other so badly it physically hurt. After that stupid date things really had just become worse and worse. He was seriously considering what the hell he was doing. Why not give them a try? Maybe Ulquiorra was right, maybe he wouldn’t return to the person he had once been. Man would he feel like a fucking idiot if Ulquiorra didn’t and Grimmjow had been here pining for him the whole time while he could have been with him instead.

“You don’t want me to go all out,” Grimmjow hissed and dashed towards him. Another dodge. He was so fucking hard to catch! Damn it. He was going to get him somehow.

He went in for an attack again, but then proceeded to use sonido to appear right behind him and then aim to kick him on the ribs. Yeah, that was probably going to hurt him a bit of he hit, but he was expecting Ulquiorra to dodge.

He didn’t.

Instead he used his arm to guard his side and allowed himself to get kicked a few meters away, which was really not the distance he had expected. He should have managed to kick him at least three times that distance, and Ulquiorra landed elegantly and controlled.

“I’m not made out of glass, you’re allowed to kick harder than that,” Ulquiorra said.

Grimmjow just stood there and stared at him for a while. “Why the fuck did you block? I kicked fucking hard… wait… it didn’t hurt you at all?”

“It felt right to block. It was instinct, and no, it didn’t hurt,” Ulquiorra replied with a shrug.

“Damn.” Grimmjow smiled and placed his hands in his pockets. “Look at you. You won’t need my fucking protection anymore, at least not from weak hollows.”

“I suppose this is the hierro you talked about then?”

“Yeah. You’ve got your hierro, strength, speed, and combat abilities back. So all the basics are there. I suspect you’ll start to regain some hollow abilities soon then. Or maybe your fucking zanpakuto. It’s still fucking weird to see you without it.”

“Maybe I’ll start to remember,” Ulquiorra said, and with that Grimmjow’s grin was gone. Yeah, maybe he would start to remember.

“Yeah…” he sighed and looked away. He could hear Ulquiorra walking up to him, and a hand was placed on his cheek. Grimmjow closed his eyes, his brows knit together. He should pull away, he should push the hand away, but he didn’t. “I don’t want to fucking lose you,” he hissed through clenched teeth. Ulquiorra’s other hand was on him now, cupping his face.

“You’re not going to lose me.”

He slowly opened his eyes to meet those bright green ones. They really were glowing slightly in the dim lights. “Is that a promise?”

“Yes.”

Grimmjow closed his eyes once more, a pained expression on his face. Fuck… fuck all of this. He might as well. He opened his eyes once more and reached out for Ulquiorra. An arm wrapped around the shorter male as he pulled him closer and leaned in to press his lips against his.

Fine. He was going to give them a chance, and he hoped this was not going to turn out to be a huge mistake from his side.


	30. Give it a chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last of the pre-written chapters, so now it'll take a lot longer between each chapter.

Grimmjow had thought it would take him a while to get used to this new relationship, but it hadn’t. He had just followed what he had wanted for a long time. Holding Ulquiorra, kiss him, and just generally be really needy when it came to physical affection.

“I am starting to regret this all,” Ulquiorra laughed as he was pretty much forced to place the book he had been reading down as Grimmjow was trying to keep all of his attention for himself.

“Deal with it,” Grimmjow purred and placed a light kiss on his neck.

Ulquiorra only huffed and Grimmjow could feel fingers playing with his hair. It felt nice, and only encouraged him to keep doing what he was doing. Open mouth kisses were placed on the soft skin of Ulquiorra’s neck. He could hear soft sounds coming from the other. Good. That was a good reaction.

He placed a hand on Ulquiorra’s thigh, and allowed it to slowly slide up, closer and closer towards his crotch. Let’s see how far he was allowed to go.

“Stop.”

Fingers gripped Grimmjow’s wrist and he paused. He wanted to push it, he wanted to go further than this, but decided not to so he withdrew his hand and straightened up a bit. Guess he would have to take it a bit slow with him. Didn’t matter if he was excited and wanted to get this going, he would get his ass handed to him once Ulquiorra returned back to normal if he had done anything bad to him.

“Sorry,” Ulquiorra whispered.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Grimmjow shrugged. Yeah, he had urges, but in his fantasies Ulquiorra had always wanted it just as much as he had, and he was sticking with his plan of making those fantasies come true.

“It feels so foreign to be this close to someone,” Ulquiorra admitted and shook his head.

“You almost make it sound like you don’t want this, even if you’re the one who has been pushing for this the most,” Grimmjow said and rose an eyebrow at him.

“I want this, I really do want us to be a thing, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t new. It doesn’t feel familiar at all, so I suppose I was never this close to anyone before.”

“Nope. You kept everyone at a distance. Pretty sure you would have slit my fucking throat had I tried to kiss you back then.”

Ulquiorra chuckled a bit and leaned in to kiss Grimmjow.

Yeah, this is the opposite of what he would have done in the past. Fucker better not get back to that, he was pretty sure he would break into a thousand pieces if Ulquiorra decided to return to the exact person he had been back then.

His eyes closed during the kiss as he leaned in, returning it, and loving the way the other’s lips felt against his own. So damn soft and warm.

Ulquiorra broke away and got to his feet and walked towards the kitchen. Grimmjow only watched him walk away. He wanted to badly to just push him up against a wall, rip his clothes off and have his way with him, but he needed to be patient. As if he hadn’t been patient enough already. He was still stuck sleeping on the couch since Ulquiorra wasn’t comfortable having them sleep in the same bed, yet. This was going to really take a while, wasn’t it? Well, he should have expected that. This was something that was actually new to Ulquiorra. The powers he had lost and regained wasn’t new, it was just something he had forgotten about for a while, so him getting used to all of that couldn’t be compared to this.

He groaned and lay down on the couch. Fine. Patience. He just needed all the patience he could gather to keep himself from doing something he would regret. Even if he still worried this whole relationship was going to be something he would regret later on.


	31. Remember us

Grimmjow hummed as he rested his head on Ulquiorra’s shoulder, his arms securely wrapped around the smaller male. They had been training, and had decided to just relax on one of the many rooftops for a bit before heading back. Ulquiorra was sitting on the edge of the rooftop, while Grimmjow had decided to sit down right behind him and hug Ulquiorra close.

“Why do you insist on having such a high collar on your uniform,” Grimmjow mumbled.

“To annoy you.”

“Good fucking job.”

Ulquiorra chuckled slightly and Grimmjow could hear him unzip the top part of his uniform, making it possible for Grimmjow to go for his neck. Perfect! He pressed his lips lightly to the exposed skin at first, testing Ulquiorra’s reaction, even if he knew Ulquiorra had unzipped his jacket to give him access.

No negative response thus far. So he placed a open mouth kiss on Ulquiorra’s neck, and smirked when the other let out a soft gasp. Being this close to Ulquiorra was still something he had to get fully used to. Part of him still feared that the other would suddenly turn and push him aside, or mock him for wishing to be with him. The thought made him tighten the grip he had around the other.

“Relax Grimmjow,” Ulquiorra said softly.

Grimmjow paused. “Easier said than done.”

“You’re overthinking again.”

“Mmm. Guess you’re right,” Grimmjow sighed. It sometimes felt like Ulquiorra could read his mind. Well, that’s what he got for hanging around here for over half a year. Shit, it had really been that long?

Grimmjow closed his eyes, his face buried against Ulquiorra’s neck. A wave of possessiveness washed over him, causing him to hug the other just a bit tighter, only to release his hold when he felt Ulquiorra tense up.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No… you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” that sentence died on Ulquiorra’s tongue and now that possessiveness within Grimmjow turned into worry.

“Something wrong?” he asked as he moved so that he was sitting next to Ulquiorra instead. Ulquiorra didn’t look at him, instead his gaze was fixated on a hollow that was climbing around on a building not far from where they were.

“I remember…” Ulquiorra whispered and slowly turned to look at Grimmjow.

Worry had turned to terror. Man was he going through a lot of emotions today.

“What… do you remember?” Grimmjow asked carefully. He hesitantly reached out to touch Ulquiorra’s cheek, scared the other would move away, but he didn’t. Instead Ulquiorra leaned in to the touch. Well, that eased some of his worry.

“Hollows. Arrancars. Vasto Lords. Espada. Adjuchas,” Ulquiorra said.

Most of those Grimmjow had not really mentioned, so yeah, looks like some things were coming back to him now. “Yeah… us, in other words.”

“Yes, the sort of creature we are. It’s strange. I remember them, but I can’t really visualize anyone. I know what a Vasto Lord looks like, I even know I was one, but I don’t remember what I looked like, or what that period of my existence was like. I know what an Arrancar looks like, but I can’t remember the other Arrancars.”

“You’ll remember eventually,” Grimmjow sighed. On one side, it was good for Ulquiorra to remember, but at the same time… it was…

“You’re scared aren’t you?” Ulquiorra asked.

Grimmjow huffed and looked down. “Yeah.. a bit.” He looked up again when Ulquiorra placed a finger under his chin to tilt his head up. When his eyes met the other’s he noticed that he was a lot closer and soon those soft duo colored lips were pressed against his own. Fuck how he loved how they felt. He returned the kiss without hesitation, and even found himself letting out pleased hum. 

When Ulquiorra tried to pull back Grimmjow quickly placed a hand at the back of Ulquiorra’s neck to pull him into another kiss. It only lasted for a couple of seconds before he let the other go, but Ulquiorra didn’t pull back completely, only an inch so that he could speak.

“Still the same, even if I remember a bit more,” Ulquiorra whispered.

“I noticed.”

Ulquiorra closed the distance between them again. Another pleased hum left Grimmjow’s throat and he parted his lips into the kiss, wanting to deepen it a bit more. Ulquiorra allowed it, inviting Grimmjow’s tongue to enter his mouth.

Grimmjow almost hesitated. He had tried to go this far before, but Ulquiorra had always pulled away then. With that, he reminded himself to take it slow as his tongue entered Ulquiorra’s mouth. He could feel Ulquiorra grip his jacket when their tongues touched. Yeah, this had to be new to the other, and even if Grimmjow wanted to just go at it, turn this into a hot and heavy make out session, he knew he needed to ease Ulquiorra into this.

A low sound came from Ulquiorra, and it only fueled Grimmjow want to go further. Right now he hated the fact that he had to be patient, but he knew he didn’t have any other choice, unless if he wished to fuck this all up. He pulled back, only to move to Ulquiorra’s still very exposed neck and playfully bite it.

“Still worried I’m about to change back to who I once was?” Ulquiorra asked after clearing his throat.

Grimmjow grinned, he could tell he had aroused the other. Good. Hopefully he would want Grimmjow to help him do something about that arousal soon.

“Nah. You appear to be just fine.”

For now.


	32. Intimacy

Grimmjow couldn’t help but wink at Ulquiorra as he walked by while only wearing a towel. Yeah, it was normal for Ulquiorra to see him like this, but lately it felt like Ulquiorra was really staring at him, and would then catch himself staring and look away. Cute.

“What, too much for you?” Grimmjow grinned as Ulquiorra turned his attention to the wall instead.

“Just get dressed.”

Grimmjow did not do as told, instead he walked over to Ulquiorra who was in the kitchen, and now he couldn’t ignore the former Sexta. He could see the smaller male swallow hard as he looked at Grimmjow. This was unusual behavior from him.

He paused when Ulquiorra was well within his reach, but for now he just stood there, very much enjoying the way the other looked at him. What was going on inside the other’s mind? Was he getting fantasies like he himself had every damn time he saw Ulquiorra half naked? That thought caused him to grin even wider.

“You look a bit flustered,” Grimmjow purred and took another step closer, as he did so he reached out for Ulquiorra and placed a finger under his chin and made him look up, their eyes meeting.

“You’re pretty much naked and this close, how can I not be?” Ulquiorra huffed. A slight tint of pink in his cheeks. Grimmjow was going to miss that when Ulquiorra was back to normal.

“So you like what you see?” Grimmjow couldn’t help himself.

“Of course I do,” Ulquiorra mumbled.

Grimmjow leaned in closer. Their breaths mingling now, their lips almost touching, and he could hear that Ulquiorra’s breathing had become a bit shaky. Was he getting aroused? He hoped so.

“Want to touch?”

Ulquiorra’s breath hitched at that question. Now Grimmjow was getting hard. Well, didn’t matter, his focus was on the other. He knew he had managed to arouse the other a bit before, but the other always pulled back before things became real fun.

“I… do,” Ulquiorra confessed.

“Then do so.”

Ulquiorra appeared to be hesitating. Then he placed a hand on Grimmjow’s chest. It felt warm, and gentle, and it really added fuel to the fire within him. He closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against Ulquiorra’s and then proceeded to wrap an arm around the other and pulled him close, holding the smaller male flush to his own body.

Grimmjow felt arms wrap around his shoulder during the kiss. The kiss was deepened, tongue added, and Grimmjow found himself sneaking a hand under Ulquiorra’s t-shirt. A low sound came from the other. It was muffled, but still such a sweet noise, and it only encouraged Grimmjow to continue. Ulquiorra’s skin felt so soft to touch. Had it always been this soft? His lips were soft, but for some reason he had not expected the rest of him to feel this soft too.

Fuck. He wanted him so bad. So bad it almost hurt.

Ulquiorra broke away from the heated make out session and instead leaned his forehead against Grimmjow’s shoulder. Grimmjow could hear and feel that he was breathing heavy, and right now he suddenly became aware of how his own erection would be very, very, easy for Ulquiorra to feel. Well… hopefully that hadn’t been an issue.

“You okay there?”

“I’m fine… just got a bit too…”

“Eager? Horny?”

Ulquiorra sighed. “Horny.”

“You know it’s normal, right?”

“Yes, but it feels foreign… it’s like it’s something I have never felt before, and it’s like a part of me tells me I shouldn’t be able to feel it.”

“Well.. that makes sense. Doubt you ever got aroused before. Pretty sure you would scoff at the idea of that too… so… just take your time with that, I guess, but you should stop running away from it just because it’s new.”

Ulquiorra looked up a him for a moment. Fuck, he was cute. Cheeks slightly pink, and those emerald eyes were glowing with a tint of lust, making them look darker than before. This was a look he hadn’t seen before, and it only made his erection even more painful. He swallowed hard, and tried to push all the images he was getting away.

“Not run away… I will keep that in mind.”

“Yeah… but you don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable either, that’s no fun.”

No matter how badly he wanted this, he didn’t want to make Ulquiorra uncomfortable. He couldn’t make Ulquiorra uncomfortable.

Ulquiorra nodded.

“You’ve got some experience with this then?” Ulquiorra asked and hugged Grimmjow a bit closer. If he hadn’t noticed Grimmjow’s erection before then he would feel it now for sure. And then there were soft lips against his neck. Oh this was unexpected. Grimmjow had thought Ulquiorra would pull away and the fun would be over, but apparently he had decided to be brave and continue this.

“Yeah, I’ve dabbled,” Grimmjow replied quietly. Now and then when there was an urge. There were plenty, both male and female, Arrancars that had been happy to spread their legs for him. That’s why having to wait and be patient was a real struggle. He was so used to getting what he wanted when he wanted it.

“So you can show me once we get that far?”

“Hell yes.” It was said with a wide grin. He was really looking forward to when he would get to show Ulquiorra just how fucking good he could make him feel.

Grimmjow could feel Ulquiorra smile slightly against his neck, and with that he slowly moved back a bit, making eye contact with Grimmjow once more.

“We’re taking this at my pace, right?”

“Of course.”

It felt like Ulquiorra was going somewhere with this, but Grimmjow didn’t want to assume. For a moment the other looked away, and Grimmjow could see the gears inside Ulquiorra’s mind turn as he was thinking something over.

“So… would you like to sleep in the same bed as me from now on?”

Grimmjow’s eyes widened and once the initial surprise of the question had passed he grinned widely.

“Yeah, I would like that.”

“It’s not an invitation to have sex with me however!” Ulquiorra was quick to add and Grimmjow only laughed.

“Don’t worry, not going to try anything with you.”

He leaned down and pressed his lips against Ulquiorra’s softly. This was a step in the right direction.

The rest of the evening was nothing special, but Grimmjow made sure to pull Ulquiorra close whenever he could, which now and then resulted in Ulquiorra sighing and pushing Grimmjow away since he was getting a bit annoying, but Grimmjow didn’t mind. It didn’t stop him from trying again later.

“I’m going to head to bed,” Ulquiorra said as he walked behind the couch to stay out of Grimmjow’s reach. Sneaky bastard.

“Might as well join you then,” Grimmjow replied and got to his feet. He saw Ulquiorra pause for a second and then nod.

Together they walked into the bedroom and Grimmjow was quick to remove his own shirt and pants while Ulquiorra just watched.

“What? Want me to keep my clothes on?” That would get very warm, but he guess he could if this made Ulquiorra uncomfortable. “Or are you just admiring the view?”

“Just looking.”

“Admiring the view it is then.”

“If I used those words then your already inflated ego would only grow even larger,” Ulquiorra chuckled.

Grimmjow flashed him a wide smirk. At least the other didn’t appear to feel awkward or anything, and though Ulquiorra was still more shy than his real self was he wasn’t exactly timid. So Grimmjow was only half pretending like he wasn’t staring at Ulquiorra as he undressed.

“Admiring the view?” Ulquiorra asked and Grimmjow laughed.

“Yeah I am.”

A small smile spread across Ulquiorra’s lips and he looked away for a second. Grimmjow could see that his cheeks had turned light pink. Fucking adorable. Now they were both in their underwear, and Grimmjow had to do his damnest not to let his thoughts go wild. They were not going to have sex yet, he knew that, but his mind still wanted him to imagine just what that would be like.

Aw fuck, now he hoped the other wouldn’t get uncomfortable if he suddenly had a wet dream or something like that while they were sleeping next to each other. Those dreams were a bit too frequent at times, and he wondered if the other had ever caught him having one of those dreams. If he had, then he had never let him know or said anything about it.

He watched as Ulquiorra crawled into bed, and then proceeded to follow him, and pulled him close the moment he had laid down next to him. A soft sound came from Ulquiorra as their bodies were held close. It felt so nice to hold him like this, to have him this close. The skin to skin contact was absolutely something he could not get enough of.

He felt Ulquiorra move a bit, and an arm wrapped around him. At this moment Grimmjow realized that this wasn’t just new to Ulquiorra, but also himself. He never slept together with anyone like this. Back in Las Noches he would fuck them and leave, you never slept next to them… it was just sex. This was something more, this was… intimate. This was closeness he wasn’t used to either.

“You know… I’ve never just slept with someone like this before,” Grimmjow said quietly.

“Mmm. So we’re both stepping into the unknown then.”

“Yeah,” Grimmjow whispered and placed a kiss on top of Ulquiorra’s head.

Though this kind of unknown wasn’t bad, not bad at all. So far he was enjoying it a lot.


	33. Home

Grimmjow was awoken by sudden movement and saw Ulquiorra sitting upright in the bed, his green eyes wide. Immediately Grimmjow was alarmed and reached out to place a hand on Ulquiorra’s shoulder as he too sat up. Judging by the lack of lights outside it was still nighttime.

“What’s wrong?”

Ulquiorra turned to look at him, and his gaze went from wide and unfocused to determined.

“Take me to Hueco Mundo.”

Now it was Grimmjow’s turn to have wide eyes. He had mentioned Hueco Mundo to Ulquiorra, but now that he said it it almost sounded like he remembered it.

“I want to see Las Noches,” Ulquiorra added.

Okay, he definitely remembered, since Grimmjow was sure he had never, not even once, mentioned Las Noches.

“Yeah. Okay.”

They left their human bodies, and Grimmjow opened a garganta and took Ulquiorra’s hand as they stepped inside.

“This will lead us to Hueco Mundo? It’s dark.”

“Yeah, just hold on to me and you’ll be fine. You’ll figure out how to create your own at some point.”

With Ulquiorra remembering this Grimmjow found himself keeping extra close watch in case there was any change in his voice, his behavior or the way he looked at him. Anything to indicate that he was going back to who he had once been. For now he saw nothing.

They stepped out into the desert, Ulquiorra letting go of Grimmjow’s hand as he did so, and right ahead of them was what was left of Las Noches. It was almost just ruins now, with some added sand that was slowly consuming it as wind blew the it across the destroyed palace.

Grimmjow looked over at Ulquiorra, whose eyes were as wide as they could be.

“What… happened? This is not how I remember it.”

“Well, you’re part of the reason why it looks like this.”

Ulquiorra took a few steps closer to the ruins. “I died here, right? I suppose I made a real mess of the place when I did so.”

“Yeah. You were one of the strongest, and something even stronger had to appear to take you down. I fucking felt you disappear.” Grimmjow kept his gaze straight ahead, so he almost jumped when he felt Ulquiorra take his hand and when he turned to look at him, he was met with such a soft smile he swore he was going to melt right then and there.

“I want to see what is left inside.”

With that Ulquiorra pretty much dragged Grimmjow along towards Las Noches, and inside the huge ruined building. Walls were knocked down, sand covered the floor here and there. Grimmjow hated to be inside this empty place. Now and then Nelliel or Harribel would be here, but right now they weren’t, and he had no idea where they might be. He could sense other hollows nearby, weaker ones, barely worth him paying attention to them.

It looked like Ulquiorra had a goal in mind as he walked, making turns without hesitation. He knew where he was despite how destroyed the place was.

“Where are you taking us?” Grimmjow asked.

“My place.”

“You remember where it is?”

“I do.”

Grimmjow clenched his jaw shut. Going back there might mean he would remember more, and once more he feared he would lose the Ulquiorra he currently had, the one that was holding his hand. He could just tell them to stop, that they had to leave. Yeah, that would be the selfish thing to do, but Ulquiorra would object, and there would be a fight, and Grimmjow really didn’t feel like having a big argument with him right now.

Before he knew it they were by Ulquiorra’s old quarters and Ulquiorra let go of Grimmjow’s hand as he stepped into the place where he had once lived. It felt almost surreal to see him there. Grimmjow had been here on his own after Ulquiorra’s death, just because he was curious and wanted to see what sort of place the Cuatro had lived in. It had been so empty. No decoration, only exactly what he needed. It was still the same now.

“It feels strange to be back here. I remember this place perfectly, but being here feels different.” Ulquiorra paused and placed a hand on the pale wall. “Everything has changed. I might be back… but it isn’t the me who used to live here who is back.”

Grimmjow walked over to him and placed a hand on his back. “Does that bother you?”

“No… it doesn’t. It feels strange. Does it bother you that I’m here?”

Called out.

“A bit. Seeing you here I-”

“I fear that I’ll just turn back to my old self like that.” He snapped his fingers at the end of that sentence and then shook his head. “No. I don’t remember anything new. I don’t feel any different, except this weird feeling of being here.”

“Well… we could get out of-” Grimmjow paused. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong.”

“We’ve got company.”

“I assume that’s a bad thing.”

“It could be.”

Harribel and Nelliel had appeared, and they could most certainly sense the two of them and they were now heading in their direction.


	34. Old allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully it won't take as long to get the next chapter out. It depends on how much I want to write, and if my computer decides to behave until I build my new one.

Closer and closer they got and Grimmjow’s mind was racing. How would they react to Ulquiorra being here? What would they say? His mind was creating one scenario after another. Maybe they would be happy to see him? What if they attacked? He knew he wasn’t strong enough to take them both on, and Ulquiorra was most certainly not strong enough to deal with them.

“Stay behind me, and don’t pull a stunt like the one when Ichigo appeared,” Grimmjow hissed. He got no reply from Ulquiorra.

The two women stepped into view and Grimmjow could feel himself grow even more tense, even changing his stance to a more aggressive one, lowering his body slightly, knees bent, ready to make a sudden move if he had to.

“Calm down,” Nelliel sighed as she got closer. Harribel stayed in the back, a stern look on her face.

“What do you want?” Grimmjow hissed.

“To talk.”

“Really?”

He wasn’t sure if he was going to believe that. Nelliel was not violent, he knew that, he knew she wasn’t going to start a fight out of nowhere, but he didn’t trust Harribel to be on that same page.

“Grimm,” Nelliel sighed, her shoulders lowering quite a bit as she shook her head, annoyed with the former sexta’s behavior.

“I don’t think they are planning to start a fight, Grimm,” Ulquiorra added.

“Fine, but if they try anything then we’re out of here,” Grimmjow said and straightened up. He looked over at the smaller male as Ulquiorra moved to stand next to him instead of behind him.

“So, you would rather run than fight then?” Harribel commented. Yeah, Grimmjow guessed they hadn’t expected to hear him say something like that.

“Yeah,” he growled, mildly annoyed by this. He wasn’t a fucking coward, he just didn’t want to risk Ulquiorra getting hurt. 

“I like your new uniform, got tired of the white one?” Nelliel suddenly said, a bright smile on her lips as she spoke. She was really talking as though Ulquiorra had just been gone for a while… not died and somehow returned to life.

“Tired of it? I… just didn’t like it,” Ulquiorra replied and sent Grimmjow a short look.

Harribel frowned. “You chose it yourself when you became an Arrancar.”

“A pity I don’t remember that,” Ulquiorra sighed with a slight frown.

Nelliel and Harribel sent each other a short look.

“You do appear very different now from before. What happened?” Harribel asked, she was still keeping her distance.

“I know I died, I’ve been told so a couple of times… but I don’t know how I came back… I’m slowly piecing everything together. The reason we’re here is because I just remembered Hueco Mundo and Las Noches.”

“You don’t remember?” Nelliel frowned and then looked over at Harribel again. “Do you remember her?”

Ulquiorra shook his head. “No, I don’t know who she is. I know she’s an Espada… but more than that, I don’t know. I don’t exactly remember Grimmjow either, so I’ve had to get to know him all over again.”

“It’s going to be strange for you when you remember him again… you two didn’t exactly have a good relationship,” Harribel hummed.

Grimmjow clenched his jaw at those words.

“I’ve been told so… many times.”

Grimmjow could feel Ulquiorra look at him. Then he felt the other take his hand. Gentle fingers slowly touching his, and immediately helped sooth him.

“So… what is your current relationship?” Harribel asked.

“None of your business,” Grimmjow barked.

“Um… well,” Nelliel clapped her hands together. “What else do you remember, Ulquiorra?”

“I… remember what hollows are, I remember what an Arrancar is, and I know about the Espada. It’s strange, but everyone’s faces are dark, yet if I was to see any of them I know know if they were just an Arrancar or one of the Espada. There isn’t much more I remember.”

“What about your powers?”

“I… am slowly recovering them, but I don’t know how far along I am.”

“You feel weak, and you’re missing your zanpakuto, so you still have a long way to go,” Harribel replied.

Ulquiorra shrugged. “Well, with Grimmjow’s help I’m sure I’ll get to where I once was.”

“And what will you do then?” Harribel continued, her eyes narrowed.

“I don’t know, I-”

“Let’s go,” Grimmjow interrupted and tightened the grip on Ulquiorra’s hand and pretty much dragged him along the opposite way.

“Wait!” Nelliel tried.

“Let them go,” Harribel replied sharply, stopping Nelliel from following them.


End file.
